i love tuesdays

today was not a successful day at the knife shack.

the mall was

DEAD.

my shift was from 3-9 pm

and by the time it was 8:20, i had not sold a single freaking thing.

so i called AJ.

and he drove to the mall and bought a knife from me,

just so i could have a sale and not look so horrible to my manager.

how nice is that?

so i had $35 in sales today.

thank you AJ.

after work,

my friends brynne and callie came to pick me up

because my car is broken right now :(

(once again...nice friends)

and we went to taco tuesday.

we ate our tacos in record time.

i swear we scarf food whenever it's put in front of us.

we took our regular trip to walmart and got yelled at for sitting in the shopping cart.

walmart employees are a little uptight.

now we've been hanging around in our footy pajamas

and making videos.

it's been a great day.

xo



deep thinking

today was a truly wonderful day.

i worked and love every day,

because i seriously meet people that make me happy.

i love how every day i have conversations with random people that are browsing,

or walking in the mall,

and little pieces of them will stick with me.

and make me a better person.

it's hard to explain,

but i just love talking with people.

i love being able to be a small part of someone's life,

in that moment,

and hear about them.

i love being able to look into someone's eyes and see who they are,

and maybe help them.

it's amazing to me that every single person in this world has a story.

everyone has trials.

everyone has accomplishments.

everyone has worries.

and we can all relate with one another on so many levels.

this woman shared a part of her life with me today

that i am grateful for.

sometimes i think someone will say something that you needed to hear.

she shared a hard time that she was having

and how saddened she was by this hardship

and for that brief moment

we were connected in an amazing way.

i understood her

and she knew that.

she helped me, and i helped her

in an unspoken way.

 i think it's amazing that people can connect on levels that we often don't realize exist.

it's these little things in life that i am ever so grateful for.

i spent the rest of the night with dear friends.

brynne and i went over to the other side of oakridge to chat with

aaron

and i thoroughly enjoyed the conversations we had.

i think it's important to talk about life and ideas

and what makes us
"us"

with others.

that's when the greatest relationships with people are formed.

these are my thoughts

and my rambles

 for today.

xo

what a wonderful message

happiness

yayyy

all my friends are back in logan!

it's so fun to see the parking lot full of cars again!

i love it here when there are lots of people.

it was fun to go around and say hi to everyone!

it feels like it's been a summer and we're all coming back to school again.

i hung out with my friend eric and helped him organize his already clean room.

then i ate mady's pumpkin pie that she didn't even want to share with me

because who would want to share such prized food?!

but i'm glad she's a good enough friend to give me some.

last night i hung out with my dear friend, karli

and drank a root-beer float

and watched

bridesmaids.

i LOVED that movie.

i enjoyed it so much, because it's my own kind of humor.

every single scene was hilarious

and i want to watch it again.

this was one of my favorite scenes:



back in the 435

i'm back in logan.

i was sad to leave and come back

because it's thanksgiving weekend,

that's generally time spent with family!
but i'm extremely grateful to have a job and the opportunity to make money
to support my dream/reality of living here.


i'm blessed, really.

but i would be lying if i said i wasn't sad to leave my family.
because as i drove away from my house,
i was a little sad.


sad to leave:
mr. poop head
cind
buddy
bean
and petey

but as soon as i got on the freeway
and drove through the beautiful canyon
and turned the corner into logan
and drove down main street,
passed the quaint little shops,
and pulled into my apartment complex,
i was

...happy...

however,

it's weird being in this fun town when no one else is here!

(besides the people that have to work at the mall)

i worked for over seven hours today and

sold

soooooooo may knives.

it was a great feeling.

i met some great people that work in the shops around my kiosk.
it's fun to have friends in the mall.

i watched my manager hit on girls
and be SUCCESSFUL at it.
go figure.

i watched a "flash mob" attempt in the middle of the mall.
which i wish i could say was cool.
....but it just wasn't.

now i'm in my bed at 10:40 pm

(new record)

because i'm exhausted.

drained.

and loving this time to relax.

i love my bed here.

i don't have one anymore at my home in salt lake.

i sleep in my sister's old room

(she took over mine)

and i like that i have my very own comfy bed
 to call my own

here.

...loving life.

...loving my paycheck i'll be getting soon.

xoxo

i'm going to explode

i have had a wonderful time in salt lake.

two days flew by.

it was so nice to see all my friends that are at different schools,

from all over.

it was fun to just hug and talk and hug some more.

i am so incredibly grateful for all my friends.

i don't know where i would be in my life without the constant

support

encouragement

laughs

hugs

stories

and personalities

of all my different friends.

thank you all for that.

it was also nice to spend time with my cute family.

i wish more than anything that i could spend the rest of the week with them.

it's lame that i have to work.

espesially because everyone that lives in logan won't be there.

yesterday i went shopping with my mom and little sister.

i was so happy to finally get to H&M

i went a little crazy....

but i don't regret any of my purchases.

except i'm upset that i spilled salad dressing on my favorite new shirt today

at thanksgiving dinner.

and soaked it in stain remover,

washed it,

and it's STILL there.

today was lovely:
-spent all day with my family/some of the extended family
-visits with dear friends
-running the thanksgiving 5k race
-hair curling demos from anna
-drive up the canyon with erica/the greatest converstion
-pumpkin pie (twice)
-cuddling with my mom in bed and talking about EVERYTHING
-singing in the car with my siblings
-eating more than i thought i ever could
-hugs, hugs, hugs

i hope you enjoyed this wonderful holiday with people you love.
xoxo

SLC

today i'm grateful for wonderful people.

i have a lot of them in my life.

i went to work today

and had a great time playing solitaire and painting pictures

on the computer with no internet.

i even had some sales!

aj and ben came to visit.

that was fun.

i enjoy my conversations with them.

they were on a date buying bath and body works air fresheners....

it that's not alarming,

i don't know what is.

hahaha they're so great.

after work,

i came home and finished all my homework

because i needed to leave for thanksgiving break!

i have to work on black friday,

so i only have two days with my family.

but i'm grateful to even have two days.

i was talking to my friend, eric,

and he was telling me that he was leaving tonight, too.

he wanted to caravan drive down together.

i felt good about that,

because the heater in my car hasn't been working properly lately,

and my car has been making me a little nervous.

without me even telling eric that,

he wanted to keep an eye out for me.

he is such a sweetheart.

so the whole way down to salt lake,

he drove right by me

and called me like three times to make sure i was doing okay.

i thought that was thoughtful.

it's amazing how little things can make a big difference.

so now i'm home in salt lake.

my family doesn't even know i'm here.

i got here at about 1 am.

everyone's sleeping,

which i'm not used to because everyone i'm around stays up until at least two

haha

so i ate a muffin,

 tried to make "casual" noise and wake up my family

but it didn't work.

...and i forgot my phone charger AND laptop chord in logan.

what's new.

go away

my apartment has been

FREEZING.

when i say freezing, i mean freezing.

we realized our furnace wasn't working.

so a few days ago

we all put in maintenence requests to have someone come fix it for us.

my roommate, chelsea, took initiative and called her dad last night

and asked him if he could help her figure out what was wrong with it.

after a ten minute phone call,

we felt like idiots.......

the actual furnace itself just needed to be turned on.

ummmmm.......

we were going to do that.

so with the flick of a switch our apartment was warm.

so..

tuesdays are my days i get to sleep in

because my class doesn't start until noon.

so you can imagine how bothered i was when i was awoken to the sound of our doorbell

at 7:59 AM.

why i woke up to it,

no one will ever know.

maybe because it continued dinging for a good three minutes.

i'm sorry,

but i'm in college and it's not even 8:00 in the morning.

anyone that needed ME would not be ringing the doorbell at this time.

so i opted to stay in my bed.

well after about five minutes,

i heard a man's voice grumbling and saying

"i'm coming in!"

well

then i realized we were being robbed.

cool.
poor college student is robbed in the early morning
at home.

i could already see the headlines.

obviously,

i was too tired to hide or anything,

so i decided

"you know what, let them take the spaghetti strainer.

take the can opener.

take my top ramen.
you can even take the boxy t.v. from DI that doesn't work.
take it all.

go for it.

if you come into my room...

well,

let's just hope you don't come in here,

i won't know what to do."

and i pulled the blanket over my head.

i heard loud banging noises coming from right outside my door.

what in the world?

then i felt even more like an idiot

when i realized it was a maintenence man coming to fix our furnace.

that wasn't even broken.

he was going at it for a long time.

i had two options:

a) get out of bed. make myself SOMEWHAT presentable. and go out and tell this poor guy that our furnace wasn't really broken, and he could go home.

b) continue sleeping and let him figure that out eventually.

i think everyone can figure out which one i chose......

sorry :/

oh the weather outside is frightful...

today i worked at the knife stand.

i wish i could say i was contributing to the business of Browining,

but i'm just not.

i didn't sell a single thing today.

not one.

the cache valley mall is seriously abandoned.

nobody goes there.

it's the weirdest thing i've ever experienced.

and the people that DO go there,

do NOT want to buy hunting knives.

so i had fun people watching

and flicking a knife open

over and over and over

and making friends with the people from radio shack

and avoiding the creepy guy that works at Zagg's.

i need to bring a coloring book or something next time.

logan is freezing.

i now understand what people meant when they told me the winters were harsh.

you just don't understand until you're here.

thank goodness for the hot tub at my apartment complex.

aubree and i DROVE over there tonight because it was so freezing.

how embarrassing.

now i'm wrapped up in my electric blanket

(thanks mom)

and listening to pandora

with hot pumpkin spice drink.

life is pretty dang good.

say cheese

it takes a lot of work to take a picture.

we had a fun night

playing dress up

painting faces

 making silly videos

and doing nothing.

ugly clothes

i'm about to go to work and

sell knives

for

SIX HOURS.

i had to pick out two hunting shirts to wear to work

so i got a pink one

thinking

"oh i love pink. this is cute."

but then i realized that people are going to think i'm just choosing to wear a pink t-shirt

that is not flattering

or cute

at all.

i should have picked one of the very blatantly obvious

hunting shirts.

not to be mistaken for my own wardrobe.

so now i'm trying to cover the t-shirt

while still "technically"

wearing it.

does that defeat the purpose?

you can find me at the knife kiosk

if you need me.



the heart of life is good.

"In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them, and by waiting, they miss out. Usually what you wish for doesn’t fall in your lap, it falls somewhere nearby and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put the time and work it takes to get it. This isn’t because the universe is cruel, it’s because the universe is smart. It has its own cat-string theory and knows we don’t appreciate things that fall into our lap."

big news.

i'm back.

the blog was deleted for about five days.

i think i felt like it was pointless to have,

but i missed it.

so here i am.

in exciting news:

the internship program i have been interviewing for the past week,

I GOT!!!!!

i am so excited, it's unreal.

i would have never, ever guessed i'd be doing this.

it all happened so fast, and was so out of the blue.

i'm extremely nervous,

because it's real now.

it's something i'm ACTUALLY doing.

i'm worried about lots of things,

but i am confident i'll be successful with the program.

i will be running my own business.

managing, hiring/firing employees, dealing with finances, payroll, etc.

i'll be working 70+ hours a week this summer.

20+ hours a week from january-may.

it's a lot.

but the opportunities i'm going to have after this program is finished

are endless.

i'm so excited.

i'm excited to meet 19 other people from utah state who are going through the same excitement as me.

i'm excited to learn how to manage a business.

i'm excited to push my limits, and do something i've NEVER done before.

i'm excited to make some EXCELLENT money.

i'm excited for it all.

i'm nervous for the time committment.

i'm nervous to be doing something this huge.

i'm nervous for the success i'll have.

but seriously,

i'm just excited.

it pays to work hard.

literally.

xoxo

not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

today i had my second interview.

i got invited to have another one!

this is such a huge thing.

there's a lot of time committment.

in fact, it would take up ALL my time this summer.

it would be the hardest thing i'll ever have to do.

(one of them).

i don't know if i will make it to the end.

they told me that there were 1,500 students that showed interest in the program by filling out the initial application thing.

300 were chosen to be interviewed.

100 were chosen for a second interview.

20 are chosen in the end.

right now, i'm currently part of the 100.

there is a lot that goes into this.

i'm still doing TONS of research on the program to see if it's something i'd really even want to do.

it would definitely open a lot of doors in the career aspect of life for me.

but it would be so challenging.

i'll keep you posted.

later today i drove down to salt lake to nanny my favorite family for the weekend.

i love these girls way too much.

brooklin and her roommate made the trip with me.

it was fun to have some company.

i've been spending my time researching this freaking company

and making phone calls to past interns.

and doing homework.

but i also watched a disney channel original movie

"geek charming."

yay.

now all the girls are sleeping.

and i'm up, but so ready to go to bed.

goodnight.

count your blessings. name them one by one.

today.

i have been overwhelmed.

constantly asking, "why me?"

but in a good way.

what did i do to deserve this life i'm living?

why have i been blessed so much?

i have so much to be thankful for.

i had a moment.

in my car.

i just sat there, parked, in an empty parking lot.

everything i have in my life just kept rushing through my head.

i got out a pen and paper and just wrote everything that i have.

everything that i'm grateful for today.

here it is:

-grandparents who support me with everything i do. who are so wonderful.

-having not ONE but TWO jobs.

 so many people are not even able to find one. i have two.

i'm spending my time thinking about which one i want more, and so many other people are just searching for anything.

-wonderful friends. where would i be without them?

-being able to make friends easily.

 it's always weird for me to hear people talking about having a hard time making friends. i have always been one to have many friends. i consider that a blessing.

-family.

they are my everything.

-work experience.

 i've never considered that a blessing, but i've realized lately that it is. i have worked many jobs. i've been a good worker. it's reflecting in the opportunities that i have presented to me.

-a car.

i don't take that for granted.

-health.

especially lately with what my mom is going through, i have reflected on how much of a blessing it is to be healthy. not sick. fit. LIVING.

anyways.

today i went to this group meeting/interview for a paid internship opportunity this summer.

i was very excited for the chance i had to possibly move on with the process of getting this job.

this meeting was with five other people that all wanted the same thing.

i walked in the room and as i looked at all of the others sitting there,

i thought, "what am i even doing here?"

they were all very sophisticated, intelligent, respectable looking people.

and then i realized something.

i am too.

i was very confident sitting in my chair and answering the questions presented to me.

the guy leading the interviews seemed to keep coming back to me.

he seemed interested in what i was saying.

he dismissed three of the people.

"thank you for coming."

and then he kept asking the remaining three of us

more

and more

and more questions.

he asked about our opinions on certain things.

and so forth.

he dismissed two people.

"thank you for coming."

it was just me left in that room.

him and i.

he continued talking to me.

and then he told me that he generally doesn't do this,

but he wanted me to meet with an executive tomorrow morning.

he said he was very interested in what i had to offer.

i walked out of there so happy.

it's like everything just happens to fall into the palm of my hands.

some of these people were much smarter than me, much more experienced, and possibly more qualified than myself.

however,

i have a lot to offer.

i have a lot to offer this world.

i can do anything i want.

and that's what i'm doing.

so wish me luck tomorrow....

later i went to start my first day as a nanny.

their home is stunning.

the kids are adorable.

i had a good time playing six variations of "tag," sequence, hungry hippos, slap-jack, and hide-and-seek.

how i love kids.

i can't wait to be a mom.

well, i can.

but i will be so happy when i have kids of my own.

until then,

i'll mother these guys.

xoxo

ladies...do you really need to be on those?

i love this.

i'd like to add:

the way you think and the things you think about.

that is art.

..........

mady, brynne, and i had a fun evening.

we started it off by reliving our high school days and doing a little stalking.

it was thrilling, really.

i was peeing my pants, because i used to stalk people boys

all through high school.

you know, when you like someone and they are with another girl.
so you see them driving and you follow them...

or when you can't get over a boy and you drive by his house just to see his car.

i did it a lot.

it was the cool thing to do.
sometimes my friends and i would spend an entire friday night stalking ex-boyfriends
or current love interests.

so tonight we happened to get into a situation that lead to us having some fun.
it was mainly a joke,

but at the same time totally serious.
we embraced the opportunity to uncover private information.
it was a good time.

after that we ended up at none other than

WAL MART.

don't worry that this time

all 3 of us rode around on the electric chairs .

we just rode in a straight line.

i was laughing so hard.

they don't go very fast, so we're just mosy-ing around the aisles

avoiding eye contact with employees.

we got kicked off.

what's new.

now i'm sitting in ben, aj, and kevin's apartment.

we love it over here.

we're watching glee

....and may or may not have made nachos with kevin's chips and cheese.

he's not home.......sooooooo we're hoping he doesn't get mad :)

today was great.

i'm anxious for tomorrow.

i have a few important things on my agenda.

i'll keep you posted.

xoxo

oh...look at what i just found on my computer.

brynne's really cute sometimes.



strike! (almost)

today was a pricy tuesday.

$$$$$

i FINALLY got my hair done.

it's so healthy now.

so healthy.

and shiny.

and not dull.

yay.

tonight brynne, mady, callie, and i went to taco tuesday.

i think it's my favorite tradition i've ever had.

yup, it's definitely up there.

then we went to walmart.

i rode in the electric shopping cart again

and some grouchy lady yelled at me.

she told me some people REALLY need it.

well what makes me not qualified to NEED it.

maybe i do.

so i told her i'd put it back.

and then i continued to ride it around the store.

later we went bowling with a huge group of people.

don't worry that i didn't score until the end of the game.

and i threw the ball through my legs.

i have true talent.

then we went to get treats at mcdonalds.

the guy working didn't like us

we changed our order at the window.

sorry. didn't sound good anymore.

happy tuesday.

lol

sometimes i really wish that creepers would stop creeping on me.

like....seriously.....i attract all the wrong people.

i wish i could tell you that i have cute boys texting me and calling me.

but i don't.

they're all scary.

or weird.

or creepy.

or all of the above.

let me just give you some examples of messages i've received in the past two days:

(none of these are stretched or altered in any way).

creeper #1:this guy won't leave me alone. texts me 12 times every day. i haven't responded to any of the messages in two weeks. finally, this goes down:

him: how is yo day goin beautiful

me: fine

him: good...i thought you didn't want to talk to me anymore of something.

me: i'm surprised you've kept texting me..

him: so that means you do want to talk?

me: no.

....pretty straightforward, right?

i wake up this morning:

him: goodmorning.

seriously?

creeper #2:

(weirdo from the laundromat)

him: have you facebook stalked me yet?

me: (no response)

him: just so you know i kinda only can casual date right now. idk i just can't trust ladies so well anymore

me: why don't you trust women

him: idk i do it just takes a while to open my heart. got out of an engagement 3 months ago.

me: rough

him: are you looking to date?

me: (no response)

him: do you watch psych

me: (no response)

him: have you facebook stalked me yet?

........

this is a taste of what i deal with.

every day.

and the only person that i do want to text me.....

isn't.

so if you read this.

feel free to text me.

xoxo



i love sundays

today i was proud.

i went to church all by myself.

all my friends were being dumb or gone.

so i walked over in the morning alone.

but i loved it,

because i realized how many people i know and love in my ward.

and got to know some of the people that i didn't,

because i wasn't busy with people i already knew well.

a bunch of cute boys came and sat next to me.

and i got to have my back tickled.

and i had a great conversation with a guy that i'm excited to get to know more.

i came home and went on a walk with my wonderful roommate, jo.

i adore her.

we have a lot of differences, but are similar in so many ways.

she is just unreal.

she is so motivated it's ridiculous.

go jo.

i came home and napped.

i love sundays.

went to a fireside with callie and aj.

we watched a broadcast of president boyd k. packer.

he is one of my very favorite apostles.

(no offense to the other 11).

his talk was AMAZING.

truly.

came back and made brownies for some good friends in the apartment complex.

boys and their food....

we apartment hopped and delivered them to various people.

it's fun to have so many people to go and hang out with when i'm bored.

i feel bad.

horrible.

i forgot that my sweet friend, lyndsey, texted me and told me she would be coming by tonight.

i forgot and didn't have my phone on me for a good two hours.

shout out to lyndsey: i'm sorry. agjdkl;djfa;skldfj

who does that?

i hate flaking on people. and i hate when plans fall through.

so that was bad on my part.

later a ton of us played this fun game called "the game of things."

in 5B.

it's hilarious.

also.

look at these gems brynne brought back from salt lake:

her and i were friends in the 90's.

we really haven't changed.

xoxo

knife = weapon

today....

was quite the day.

so i was offered a job at a kiosk in the mall

through the connections of a wonderful friend.

it's perfect, because the mall is right by my apartment.

but i had to go to ogden today to be trained.

so i woke up early and drove through the canyon in the snow to the ogden mall.

i got there, and about died.

i'm selling full-on hunting gear.

mainly knives.

yes, knives.

i've never been hunting in my life.

my family doesn't hunt.

i don't know anything about knives.

this should be good.

so the girl working at the kiosk informs me that somebody else is going to be training me,

because she had somewhere important to be.

turns out, the next girl didn't show up on time.

so the first girl pretty much says:

well, looks like you'll be working alone. good luck. this is how you ring things up.

(shows me in two seconds).

and leaves.

okay.

i about died.

died.

died.

how was i supposed to do this? i knew nothing.

i felt so helpless.

seriously.

the mall was so busy and people kept stopping by.

i felt horrible, because i normally say hi and talk to people and help them.

not then.

the last thing i wanted to do was have someone buy something.

i didn't know how to complete a transaction.

i didn't want to have to answer questions about knives, either.

not until i knew what i was talking about.

so i sat in the chair and tried to avoid eye contact.

and i also took pictures of the stuff we sell,

while trying to make it look like i was doing inventory, or something.

these are the knives.....

this is the kiosk next to ours.

i sat in my chair and stared at it for a long time.

they sell furry stuffed animal hats, blankets, etc.

and then i look at ours.

knives.

to kill animals.

and skin them.

and hang them on your wall.

somewhat ironic that the two are next to each other.

anyways.

the girl came.

she trained me.

i know now everything there is to know about switch-blades, fixed knives, and pocket clips.

i know how to clean a knife,

and how to run to chick-fil-a

in the food court for napkins after a customer slices their finger on a blade.

and bleeds all over the floor.

this should be a good job for me.

after getting home,

i went to the usu basketball game.

loved it.

went to walmart.

laughed for a solid hour.

i rode crashed around on this ^^^^

and enjoyed myself the whole time.

some people really enjoyed my good fun.

others didn't.

mady and i just went hot tubbing and did our laundry.

i'm so excited to have my blankie clean again.

so excited.

today was wonderful.

xoxo

me no speak espanol

i wish i could tell you that i did well on my test this morning.

i studied all night.

but i just don't think i knew much

because my face was like this while reading the questions



seriously.

i was exhausted and i found out my afternoon class had been cancelled

which was WONDERFUL news!!!!

so i came back to my apartment,

cleaned,

and fell asleep for a while.

mady and i just went to the mall to get my eyebrows threaded.

the lady doing them asked me something that is not uncommon for people to ask me:

"are your parents both caucasian?"

yes.

"oh. where are your grandparents from? you look like you're like half something...

or maybe a quarter something..."

and then they rattle off a few ethnicities:

hispanic. greek. italian.

the woman today thought i was part hispanic.

i don't get what it is that people see in me that isn't FULLY caucasian.

i'm white. my hair is somewhat light.

i guess my skin is pretty olive, and i have olive colored eyes.

my eyebrows are dark and have an arch to them?

i don't know.

but i swear to you i get asked by random people all the time.

it's baffling, really.

so then my friend mady put on Pitbull in the car

and we listened to him speak spanish.

.........my native tongue.

love.

today was grandpa's funeral.

i LOVED hearing so many stories about his great life.

i want to be like him.

i want to marry someone who loves me as much as he loved my grandma.

i want to be a peacemaker like him.

i want to be as spiritual as him.

he is remarkable.

his funeral was beautiful.

because he was in the Navy,

he was honored in a special way at the graveside service.

i loved it,

but i hated the guns.

they were much to loud for my liking,

and i hid behind my sister like a little two year old girl.

isn't my family just the cutest?

i'll answer for you: yes. they are.

after the service,

my sissy and i went to the mall.

i love going to the mall in salt lake, because there isn't good shopping here.

my hunger for makeup was fed

and

THANK GOODNESS.

i enjoyed my ride back to logan.

it was dark and cold,

so it was fun to blast my heat and music.

when i got back,

mady, brynne, callie, and i went and saw

footloose

for one of my classes.

fun assignment, huh?

yeah...until you have to write a paper on a bunch of crap stuff.

the movie was great.

cheesy, but in a likeable way.

the guy was a cutie and julianne hough is stunning.

now i'm pulling an all-nighter to get all my homework done.

wish me luck.