trick or treat

I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES.

I HAVE MY COMPUTER BACK AFTER

THRE WHOLE WEEKS.

I HAD THE BIGGEST SMILE ON MY FACE WHEN THE GUY AT UPS HANDED IT OVER TO ME.

i had to drive like ten miles to retrieve it, but i didn't even care.

i'm so happy.

so happy.

so so so

so happy.

see.

this is my excited face picture taken from my OWN COMPUTER.

now i can finally upload pictures on my blog again.

the world is back in order.

tonight christina and i went trick-or-treating.

well...

actually,

she went trick or treating.

she's 5'2 and we decided she could pass for a little tween.

we threw a white sheet over her head and made her into a ghost.

it was freaking hilarious watching from my car

as she walked up to everyone's house by HERSELF.

i seriously was laughing soooooo hard.

she looked like a little kid,

and the things people said to her were hilarious.

"what a cute little ghost-y you are!"

the only instructions i gave her:

"whatever you do, take at least two pieces of candy."

we did pretty well.

happy halloween!!!!



....that was not a girl.

i haven't updated in a very long time.

i blame it on me not having a computer.

although

i found out that it is being delivered to my apartment at 4:30 pm

TOMORROW!!!!!

yayyyyyy

i could not be more excited to have it back.

i think there's a little bit of some emotional attachment with my lil' guy.

today brynne, mady, and callie left to go home to salt lake.

who goes back to salt lake for halloween?

weird.

just kidding, i just really miss them already.

maybe i would have considered going back with them, but i will be going home on wednesday for a funeral.

two trips in one week is just a little too much salt lake time for me.

plus,

i like it up here.

i want to make new traditions in my new home.

it's exciting.

moving on.

last night was the HOWL.

it was soooooo much different than i anticipated.

for those of you that aren't familiar with what the HOWL is, it's a big halloween dance that utah state puts on.

people from other colleges come to it because it's supposedly really fun.

i had a really great time.

it was just different than i planned on it being.

i held a snake.

didn't love it.

and danced my heart away for a good three hours.

met some creepers.

met some cuties.

had a girl full on dancing on me,

and i didn't realize it was a girl.

but it was.

and i was extremely grossed out.

had some funny experiences.

you could say i had a fun night.

now i'm sitting in the library trying to figure out what i want to do with my life today.

have a wonderful sunday.

xoxo

ew, 2%?

mady drinks 2% milk.

gross.

tonight we had a halloween party in 5A.

i'm too lazy to put up the pictures.

check facebook.

today was a really fun day.

taco tuesday

tonight 

brynne, mady, and i went to taco tuesday.

i love our fun tradition.

we had a good time watching beautiful boys and trying to look approachable.

sometimes it's a hard thing to be approachable.

like.....how do you let someone know you're available?

it's a tricky thing.

it's hard knowing what guys are available, in a relationship, or engaged.

i'm normally not even like this. 

i normally could care less about guys and stuff,

but today was a weird hormonal day of wanting to find a man.

a;lskdjgkl;dfgjd;lfjd;f

i think my hormone levels are all out of whack right now.

i'm not acting myself.

sooooooooooo anyways.

we went to walmart and i lost my phone.

what's new, you know?

i'm losing everything, all the time.

i couldn't find it anywhere.

not even hidden with the sweaters.

so then, out of the blue,

someone called my friend mady from my phone.

this guy had found my phone and wanted to return it!

what a sweetheart.

so we met him and he was so nice to take the time to find me.

i really need to start my math homework,

but i'll be at the hot tub for the next little while.

happy tuesday.

xoxo

akjlsggg;lkdsakjgl

i'm craving.....

 

-my brownie caramel ice cream in the freezer at my apartment.

-my sweats (it's FREEZING today and i don't like it)

-to meet a guy that gives me butterflies in my tummy

-a nap

-my laptop (only like two weeks left)

-to meet a guy that i really, truly like and not just want to flirt with.

 

 

 

this library is annoyingly quiet right now.

and everyone has weird looks on their faces.

i think i need to go sleep.

i'm heeeeeeeeeere

i had a WONDERFUL weekend.

i loved every, single minute of it.

my cute family came to visit me on sunday 

and we had such a fun afternoon together.

we went to olive garden,

ate like sixteen baskets of breadsticks,

went to a beautiful park and played football in the leaves,

and drove to idaho (just to say we did).

oh,

how i love them.

i'm so fortunate to have such a remarkable family 

that does so much for me.

today,

as i was walking to the library,

i overheard a conversation in passing

someone said

"what did you do in your life to get you HERE?"

i pondered that as i finished my walk.

what did i do in my life to get me here?

here

at this school,

with these friends,

with these experiences,

with those memories,

with this money,

with that shirt,

with those boots,

with this personality,

with those goals,

etc, etc, etc.

it's amazing that everything we do

everything I do,

gets you/me

HERE.

would you have done anything differently?

xoxo

bikes bikes bikes and sore legs.

today was such a FUN day. 

i loved every minute of it.

but to back up a bit,

last night i went on a date to paranormal activity 3.

i normally don't get scared in scary movies, but i cried in this movie.

the last twenty minutes really messed with me.

i was on edge for a couple hours after seeing it.

the guy i went with.......

let's just say i don't want a second date.

TODAY:

was a fun day outside.

it is absolutely beautiful here in logan right now.

the leaves are red, orange, yellow, and purple.

the weather is perfect.

i just want to spend all my time outside.

brynne and i rented bikes for the weekend.

we are really taking advantage of having them.

we rode to walmart this morning to do some grocery shopping

(very basic necessities)

and forgot that we had to get our groceries home with our bikes.

i had eggs and milk hanging from my handlebars as i peddled up the hill on my beach cruiser.

our legs are so sore.

we rode up to the creamery to get cheese with a gift card i have,

i'm really learning how to save money here.

and then rode around campus.

don't worry that we were panting and walking our bikes up the hill

we have had quite the work out lately.

we came back to oakridge and hung out with ben and A.J.

out on the hill

 and biked around the parking lot.

brynne and i ate dinner and relaxed in 5A

---we're LOVING having the place to ourselves for the weekend---

missing mady and callie,

not so much brittney.

it's fun to feel free.

brynne, alyssa, and i went shopping to find brynneee some boots.

it was a successful trip.

we went and had paninis with bradley, zane, and nate.

and then hung out with ben and aj.

at midnight,

brynne, aj, zane, and i hopped on our bikes decided to just ride wherever.

we didn't know where we were going,

but we loved it.

it was soooooo dark,

and i was surprised at the lack of street lights in the neighborhoods.

we decided to bike to the temple.

it's absolutely beautiful.

there were lots of hills, and it was a couple miles away,

but it was worth the ride.

we got there and just admired the beauty of the temple,

and of course aj gave us some trivia on the history of the building.

i think it's stunningly beautiful.

we decided we're going to go back and do baptisms this week.

i'm excited for that.

we biked home and hung out here for a while until the boys left to go

to sleep.

brynne and i decided to eat brittney's birthday cake she left here.

because she left the place a disaster before leaving for the weekend.

and she's mean to us.

so we don't even care that we're technically not allowed to eat it.

and we might get in BIG trouble when she gets back.

whooops.

nighty-night.

life is wonderful.

beef, chicken, or oriental?

it's fall break!

i just had my last class of the day, and now i'm in the library.

i'm staying here in logan for the weekend,

and i'm really excited about it.

lots of people are leaving and going other places,

but i think it will be fun to enjoy the last little bit of fall

in a BEAUTIFUL place.

i'm not too certain what i'll be doing, but i'm sure there will be excitement worth blogging about.

brynne is pretty much the only one of my girlfriends staying up here with me,

so we'll find some good fun.

i cleaned my room yesterday and realized i have a lot more clothes than i thought.

so i'm now promising myself to wear every shirt/pants in my closet before repeating.

i think i'll feel like i have more that way.

i talked to my parents

who are graciously declining to give me money.

they don't seem to care that all i have in my pantry is top ramen (sick)

and honey.

donations are being accepted 

now through.........whenever.

my dad says "it's part of the college experience."

i am so excited to hear what he says when i'm hospitalized for either starvation or 

extreme sodium overload in my body.

it's a good time.

loving life.

loving college.

loving fall.

missing food.

let's just pretend that didn't happen.

sometimes it's awkward walking into a friend's apartment with wet hair,

obesity sweats,

no makeup,

and a handful of oreos

when the man you are going to marry is sitting in the room.

why does no one tell me these things

beforehand?

i'm a little out of the loop.

we burned the bread again.

life is different without a computer.

i've definitely found other ways to spend my down time.

not that i just sit around on the computer,

but it's definitely nice to have it when i'm bored.

today was a productive day.

i went to classes,

to institute (for the first time)

and they thought i was investigating my own church.

false.

then i went to watch jo's softball game.

she is wonderful.

came home and tried to tune out my roommate and her boyfriend (that she met online and now he is staying with us for a week)

kissing outside my door.

gross.

brynne and i went on a three mile walk and now we're making dinner in her kitchen with mady.

i'm currently locked out of my place. bummer.

today has been a wonderful day.

i've had a big smile on my face all day.

the weather is perfect.

the bus has come right as i get to the bus stop every time.

i have wonderful friends.

happy tuesday. 

xoxo

knock on wood.

well, today is a very different day for me.

i'm sitting in the LIBRARY on campus.

who would have guessed?

well, it turns out i don't have a laptop for three weeks.

haha

ha

hahahah

ha

that's a funny thought.

it's funny, mainly because it hasn't quite hit me yet.

there's quite a funny story.

not to point any fingers......

but BRYNNE broke it.

hahah i love that child.

so much.

not for breaking my computer, but just because she is wonderful.

shout out to brynne:

i love you.

it's funny because an hour before the ordeal, i was talking about how much i love my computer, how i couldn't live without it, how i'm happy to have it, etc. etc.

i cursed myself.

because an hour later, i left brynne and mady's place for ten minute's TOPS

and came back to an awkward situation.

i could tell they had something to tell me, but didn't know how to.

it finally came out.

the chair fell on my computer.

now i get to learn a lesson on how to be productive and not waste time on facebook,

because it will be about three weeks before it's fixed.

so. the library is a great place to be for that time :)

i wish i had a webcam on here so i could show you all the scene in this place.

everyone is so serious and into their work.

such dedication.

i'm typing away at my blog, and the girl next to me seems annoyed.

i guess that's all for today.

have a wonderful monday!!!!!

xoxo

i'm bored. need money.

today was a very, very, very

relaxed day.

in fact, i don't even have anything to blog about.

but i'm so bored,

i'll just ramble away.

i did a lot of sleeping today.

i slept in my bed.

i slept on brynne and mady's couch

and now i'm on the floor.

i toasted bread for a sandwich and burned it,

but i'm so poor that i ate it anyways.

i can't waste food, you know.

and i ate some ice cream.

my room's pretty messy right now,

but i definitely don't feel like cleaning it.

zane stole my money.

i had him hold it for me at the dance,

because you know he had pockets and seems pretty responsible.

well,

the dance was two nights ago.

and he still didn't give it back.

so then i went over to get it and he said he lost his wallet.

so i told him he better get looking.

when he returned it to me,

i was short like two dollars.

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........

so now i'm mad at him.

um, what else can i write about?

i want to go to st. george this weekend for fall break

(i hate that we call it fall break, it's only one day off).

but i don't really have the money to pay for gas

even if we're splitting it five ways.

is it worth it to go for the weekend and not eat anything for a couple weeks?

:)

it's in debate.

um

that's all.

bye.

dance party in 5A

tonight was quite the interesting experience.

mady and i went to poetry and a beverage

(just a cute name for a poetry reading/song singing/drinking punch event)

and then watched the broadcasting of the usu vs. fresno game.

we had to wait for about half an hour after the po-bev for the game to start.

boring.

but we had to save our second row, couch seats!

we only stayed until the second quarter,

that football crap gets boring fast.

why must we yell at the screen when they CAN'T HEAR US???!!!

that's always driven me nuts.

they can't hear you, they can't see you.

stop screaming and yelling at the ref.

it doesn't change anything.

i'd say my favorite part of this event was when

this guy that is in my math class

(super flirty, super touchy, always wanting to talk, sits by me every day, etc.)

walks in and sits down in front of me and mady

with a girlfriend.

he has never ever EVER mentioned he has a girlfriend, but he's always been eager to flirt in math.

so i say hello to him,

and who would have guessed that mr. talkative flirt would be put in a pickle.

he just gave me the nod.

and then his girlfriend gave me the death glare.

it was fun.

poor poor girl,

i'm sure your big, tough, tongan boyfriend is cheating on you on a daily basis.

but you just continue to tickle his back and try to talk to him the entire game

when clearly he's much more interested in football than you at the moment.

i can't wait for math on monday.

i'm going to make him feel pretty dumb.

so yeah,

anyways...

we left haha

we came home and made chicken alfredo pasta.

delicious.

and then brynne came home from her grandmas and we sat on the couch and took pictures of ourselves and made these annoying guys that we didn't like
 feel awkward.
i love making people feel awkward.

later,
mady, brynne, and i went to this guy's house.

i met him a few weeks ago and he got my number.

he texts me

ALL THE FREAKING TIME

and i'm always making up excuses as to why i'm busy,

but finally i decided that i'd go hang out.

ehhhhhhhhhh

he was like 23 and my friend mady was feeling sketch about it,

so we peaced out of there.

yay.

we almost caught on fire, because the dumb guy didn't know how to make a fire in a fire pit.

isn't that something guys are supposed to know?

scary stuff when gas catches on fire

RIGHT BY YOU.

so.

that was interesting.

we went and picked up nessa and went and hung out with crue and his friends.

it was a good time.

i feel bad when i start rambling about things no one wants to hear about.

but

i figure,

it's my life and i need to document it.

you don't have to read it.

but if you do, i'm flattered

because i'm really not that exciting

haha.

goodnight.

i didn't want to be a princess anyway

well.....

brynne and i are not disney princesses.

we're not even characters.

in fact, we didn't even make it past the first cut of auditions.

so sad.

but so hilarious.

we were laughing so hard.

best experience.

we drove back to logan,

and by the time we got back,

it felt like we had driven from california.

we made so many stops along the way.

to visit my parents.

to go to subway.

and we kept going the wrong way and getting off exits we didn't need to.

it took all day, i swear to you.

we finally got home,

and i just crashed.

for a long time.

when i woke up,

it was time for the angels and demons party!!!!!!

can i say i had a blast???!!!!

soooooooooo fun.

so fun.

so fun.

i love that it's saturday today.

i will be lazy in my bed for a while.

much love.

doughnutssssssss

brynne and i drove down from logan to

orem.

my mother threw a fit when she found out.

currently, she's fuming.

i love that i'm able to just pick up and leave.

do what i want

when i want.

i have no reason not to.

we're staying with laurel and rachel

and i love that i'm spending the night with them.

we're having a good time.

 

but guess what,

i'm excited to be back in logan.

i love it too much there.

uvu is not the same.

it's not the same feeling here.

but i am a little excited for disney audtions.

i'ts nerve-wracking.

but fun.

we don't have our hopes up.

i don't know what to expect.

ohhhhhhh brynne and i saw krispy kreme's and did a u-turn to get our doughnuts.

mmmmmmmmmmmm

let the road trip begin

i've been having lots of fun lately.

and i've been too busy to blog.

so here's my catch up.

i've been loving these bad boys

brynne, nessa, and i went on a bike ride yesterday.

\we rented the bikes from the bike shop,

and had a great time.

today, before returning them,

brynne and i rode them around logan.

i struggle a little bit when i first get going on the bike.

my legs are too short,

so sometimes i fall over.

i ran into a pole and fell off,

and the UPS guy laughed at me.

i fell in a ditch and grasshoppers swarmed around me.

i almost got hit by a car in an intersection, because i forgot you need to use hand signals when you're turning.

my butt is bruised,

as well as my thigh, because one of the times i fell, the handlebar dug into my leg.

but despite all of that,

i'm pretty good on a bike.

:)

i actually loved spending the last two days riding around.

it's so fun to have the wind blowing through my hair

while going down the hills of logan.

last night i went out for sushi with the clan.

 i spent more than i would have liked,

but the sushi was delicious.

and then we got ice cream.

i took a test today.

i'm sorry to report that it was not my greatest.

in fact, i probably haven't ever done worse.

college is hard sometimes.

but don't worry........

brynne and i are about to leave for a little road trip.

we're auditioning to be a part of disneyworld.

we'll be back tomorrow.

i'm sure we're in for quite the adventure.

i've made it past two rounds of interviews with disney.

let's hope i can keep it up.

much love

xoxo



i'm a .....true aggie.

so what if i've been a true aggie for a while?

not my fault there are attractive guys on the loose.

i can sacrifice if they want to make me a true aggie.

i'll give them that satisfaction.

i'm glad that some of my friends wanted to go tonight.

thanks to a beautiful boy, who can't be named, to give us a push.

he's so freaking attractive

i just want him to love me.

one day he will.

i think i love too many boys.

how do you pick just one?

love me love me say that you love me

can't we just have some funnnnnn

i'm sad.

my friends and i had plans to go to another true aggie night tonight.

now they don't want to go.

why.is.everyone.being.so.boring.all.of.a.sudden.



missin' you.

have you ever had a friend a million miles away?

but they're still a friend, even though you can't see each other?

i do.

i have lots of them.

but one inparticular is in canada serving a mission for the lds church.

he is one of my very best friends.
we were close before he left,
but we've become especially close as he's been gone.
he is such an example to me.
sometimes i call his phone and leave him voice messages,
because something will happen and i'll be so excited to tell him.
sometimes i wish he could call me back.
instead,

he writes me THE nicest emails every week.

and is always sending me packages.

i look forward to mondays

 because at noon, i get to read the most hilarious, witty, thoughtful, sincere, uplifting emails from this kid.

yesterday was monday,

and so like i always do, i opened my inbox at noon.

no email.

so i checked at one.

no email.

two

three

four.

no email.

so sad! this was the first time in a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time that there was nothing.

i didn't realize how much i loved hearing about his week, and reading what he had to say,

until i couldn't.

so today i had to check my email for class,

and there was an unopened email waiting for me from him.

it was probably one of the nicest ones he's ever sent,

which says a lot.

he has been gone exactly a year
from yesterday.
it's amazing how much happens in a year.
how fast it goes.
but also, how long ago it seems.

so today,

i'm grateful for a wonderful friend

that genuinely cares about everything going on in my life.

i'm grateful that he is serving

and learning/growing so much every week.

i'm grateful for the little daily joys in my life

like emails.

i'm grateful for technology,

and the fact that we can send letters

via internet.

because sometimes getting letters is overwhelming,

although i do love it.

i'm loving his latest package, though.

thanks dude.

today is a good day.

i'm me.

sometimes i get annoyed.

i think in general,

i'm pretty good at playing things off and letting things roll off my back.

i'm good at joking, and taking jokes.

but sometimes,

after so long, i just don't find jokes funny anymore.

like sometimes i feel like people think i'm dumb because i'm not majoring in medicine, science, math, or law.

i didn't get a 30 on my ACT,

in fact, i didn't do nearly as well as i hoped i would.

i never had a 4.0 in high school,

even if i came sooooo close.

i didn't learn much in math, and i considered myself lucky to have male teachers that gave me good grades because i was nice to them, and never caused problems.

i wasn't a sterling scholar.

but you know what,

i think i'm pretty smart.

i know a lot about many things.

i know a lot about people.

i know how to make friends, and make others feel loved.

i know how to be respectful of others,

and i know how to appreciate people.

i am good at english.

i have always been in the top of my english classes,

and i know a lot about poetry.

i'm good at science.

i was offered many science scholarships,

although i don't have a passion for science.

i don't love it.

 why would i do something i don't love?

i love kids.

i know how to make children feel comfortable.

i want to make a difference in their lives.

i want to be with them every day, and inspire them to do

well

in life.

 

i think i'm smart.

i think i know a lot about myself.

a lot of people don't know that much about themselves,

but i do.

i'm smart when it comes to

ME.

sometimes i get annoyed when people underestimate my abilities or talents.

just because i like to joke around,

doesn't mean i always like to be considered "the joke."

these are my ramblings today.

mood: a little bugged. but feeling empowered.

i know that i have so much to offer this world.

and i will.

ummmmmmm

i met a guy a couple weeks ago.

he asked for my number,

but i wasn't interested so i gave him a fake phone number.

well,

i guess no number is truly fake,

because

I RAN INTO HIM TODAY.

and he was like......

"sooooooo i called you. the man on the phone didn't know who you were."

how awkward.



proud

i just took a math test

and i even knew some of the answers!

yay for school.

and sweat outfits.

the laundry room

i'm bored.

laundry takes forever.

and i don't like doing it very much.



black swan is not a fun movie

last night was the football game against Wyoming.

we won.

and it was freezing

but so fun.

we were like little kids waiting in line at disneyland for "big blue."

we left at fourth quarter because it was so bitter cold.

after, we made these gourmet brownies from pinterest

that i was so excited for.

and had movie night.

....i may or may not have ruined the top layer of the brownies.

don't ever put me in charge.

reese's cheesecake brownies.

the recipe can be found here.

today i'm feeling grateful for the opportunity i have to be here.

here at this point in my life.

here at this school.

here with these people.

just here on this earth, in general.

for the longest time, i didn't know why i felt so strongly about coming to this school.

i just knew it was right for me.

i knew it was where i was supposed to be.

i now know why.

it was to meet the people i have met.

it was to learn the things that i've learned.

i'm so fortunate to be living the life i live.

happy sunday.

xoxo

pa pa pa poker face.

THURSDAY:



i didn't blog yesterday,
because i was way too tired by the time i finished my math homework.
but we had a fun night of playing poker!
i'm such a........great.....poker player.

i'm actually really bad.

but i had help and ended up doing really well.

we went to "Rancheritos"

(yummy mexican restaurant)

at one in the morning.

had a great time eating spicy peppers and laughing at funny stories.

FRIDAY:

well....it's a friday night.

most people look forward to the weekend because they can go out and stay up late,

etc.

but my friends and i are all

EXHAUSTED.

i think we live a different kind of lifestyle.

we stay up sooooo late on weekdays.

and life just rolls on.

sure, sleeping patterns are thrown off, but you learn to work with it.

so we decided to go to a bonfire with the institute

in the mountains.

we assumed there would be lots of fun people there, because there are lots of people in institute, right?

well.

it took us two hours to get there.

we went to idaho.

we went up dirt roads.

we were extrememly lost in the rain.

finally, we found it.

the people there, were interesting.

but we had fun.

brynne and i did karaoke.

we sang full blast to Mulan's "Reflection."

we are so bad.

but we had a ball.

we made s'mores and ate chili.

it was a chill night with some......fun.....people.

and then we came back to 5A and debated going to sleep,

but decided on going to aj and ben's instead.

we had the most hilarious conversation all night.

i just love them.

and we're obsessed with otter pops.

we go through like...a box every other day.

i'm sleepy.

but i'll probably be up for quite some time.

don't you think college is a fun time?

uptight much?

i accidentally grated my roommate's cheese over my pasta.

i thought it was mine, and then i realized it wasn't.

so i went and apologized to her.

i told her to feel free to use mine.

i was sorry.

i opened the fridge later today to find her shelf of food gone.


she hid her food.

literally.....

i laughed.