how to love.

i had a really fun night.

brynne mady and i pulled off a freaking awesome maneuver.

it was a little sad...but so great.

how do you get someone to fall out of love with you?

especially if you can't let them down.

it's too hard.

well i'll tell you....

you try and make yourself as annoying as possible.

anyways.

after that,

we watched the bachelor with landon and bradley.

that was fun.

but i'm a little bitter about it,

because they WOULD NOT stop talking.

i wanted to shove rags in both of their mouths

...but just until the show was over.

it was nice of them to let us invade their space,

but seriously.....

i'm going to be re-watching it tomorrow online.

after that,

adam came over to hanggg.
fun stuff.

then me, brynne, callie, and zane sat around in 5B and i ate cheez-itz
and made funny commentary.

i think it was a pretty great day.

xo

life is grand.

today was a really great day.

let me tell you about it:

went to stake conference with brynne, zane, and nate.

sat in the top of the tabernacle and couldn't see the speakers, so i watched the audience instead.

came home and slept forEVER.

woke up.

had sunday dinner at dallas' place.

so delicious, there are no words.

stuffed my face (what's new)

went to hear Elder Holland speak to all of USU.

the whole entire spectrum stadium was full.

and get this,

when i went to wendy's with brynne the other day,

we saw this BEAUTIFUL boy.

and when we went to the fireside,

he was sitting RIGHT behind me.

out of the thousands of people,

he was the one right behind me.

if that's not fate, i don't know what is.

too bad it looked like zane and i were dating.

sometimes that's annoying.

then we got stuck in the parking lot for twenty minutes.

it was cold.

and cars weren't letting us out.

we went over to alyssa's for molten cake :)

that was DELICIOUS>

then we watched the kardashian's at zane and nate's place.

i cried.

kim's divorce is just too much for me to handle.

nate was eating cheez-itz and being selfish and not sharing,

so naturally i started craving cheez-itz.

and brynne wanted flaming hot cheetos.

so we went to walmart.

at 1 am.

and not a soul was in that store.

we asked the only worker,

where is everyone??!!

she was like....um there's school tomorrow.

we just stared at her for a while

and then said,

"hmmm that's weird. it doesn't seem to have any effect on us."

now we're up and hyper and eating crap.

tomorrow will be an interesting day in classes for me.

here i am

this is me right now.

in my bed. 

after stake conference....

ready to sleep.

i literally woke up this morning,

got ready,

did my hair,

and the whole time i was thinking...

in just a little while, you'll be back here,

back in bed.

i was exhausted this morning.

so these pictures are to remind me

and maybe you, if you're tired too...

that even when you really don't feel like doing something in that moment,

soon enough...you'll be back in bed.

now that i'm here,

i'm going to sleep.

byebye

saturdays

jake, zane, and i just watched a fight.
it was like reality tv.......in real life.
awesome.

the apartment next to us threw a "freaking dope, rad, cray cray" party.
they had strobe lights and dub-step music.
so fun.
hahahahahah

anyways. it really was a little crazy.
and fifty people just piled out of there
(mainly huge, black football playas)
and they punched this guy into the ground.
like seriously.


we watched from under the stairs

ahahahahah

i thought i was going to get shot.



and then they flung this guy over their shoulders like a sack of potatoes.



oakridge is hoppin' tonight.

brynne and i went to the basketball game tonight

with aj, ben, kevin, and james.

i thought i was being pretty hilarious all night.

mainly because i really was.

we had a fun time.

we hung out in their place for a while

and then brynne and i went to walmart.

we ate ice cream and laughed our heads off for a while.

i can read her mind

and she can read mine

and sometimes it really creeps me out.

for reals, though.

umm i think that's all i have to say.

bye.

friday, friday.

last night brynne and i had a little date.

we went to the gymnastics meet at usu.

loved it.

then i got a little bit grumpy and annoyed with a really annoying person.

and i complained the whole way home.

i wanted to scream.

brynne put up with me, and that was really nice.

we went and had a feast at wendy's.

it was really great, actually.

i think i ate more food than any normal person really should eat.

but i was fine with it.

and then we went to this institute activity at sport's academy.

we felt extremely awkward the whole time.

so we grabbed a bunch of soda

and peaced out of there.

we came back and crashed at ben and aj's place for a long while.

they're really great.

we ate their candy and took up their love sac.

i think that's one of my favorite places to be.

and then brynne and i had a slumber party in her room.

our friday was full of fun.

hope you enjoyed your day. 

xo

oweeee

i just fell over.

and hit my face into zane's kneecap.

his pants are covered in my mascara.

and my eye is swelling.

i believe i'll have a black eye in the morning.

we're getting pretty fat.

brought to you in part

by brynne and jas.

fatties fo life.

this is what we do at three am.

...it ain't pretty

moday goodness

it has snowed all day today.

and i love it.

tonight 

brynne, mady, and i did our weekly grocery shopping.

we came back and watched the bachelor

ate ice cream

and zane came over to watch the girl that he loves from seattle.

he LOVES the bachelor.

and i think he'd even admit it to you if you asked him.

after two hours of pure goodness,

we watched pretty little liars.

monday is one of the best days.

aubree, kevin, and alyssa came over.

some people don't understand how important these two shows are to me.

i compare it to men and their football....

you just don't talk to them while they're watching it.

end of story.

that's how my bachelor/PLL time is for me.

sorry.

at 11:30

brynne and i decided to go to the gym for a late night workout.

we walked outside and about died...

it's so beautiful right now!!

there is so much fresh snow.

it's so peaceful outside, and so quiet!

it almost seems bright,

like it's light outside.

i could sleep out there, seriously.

had a nice time running.

as we were walking back to our apartment,

i took a hard fall to the cement.

my knee may or may not function properly for the next few days.

i stayed face down on the sidewalk for a good five minutes.

what would i do without my little brynneeee pooh?

......well i'll tell ya...

i'd still be out on the sidewalk.

xo

loving my pandora station right now.

sooooooooo

i'm back in logan.

today was a lovely day at home with the family.

my mom and I watched a movie

and then my dad went and got us Dunford Donuts

and even surprised me by bringing me home groceries!

what a sweetheart.

i drove back to logan in the late afternoon

and sang along with my ipod the entire ride.

i had greasy hair, was wearing sweats, and no make-up.

i felt awkward making eye contact with anyone in other cars.

......which strangely was quite often.

note to self: get ready when you make a long car ride.

i came back and loved being reunited with brynne and mady.

we talked and then i showered 

because my hair was grossing me out.

adam came over and we just 

chilllllllllllllllled.

literally CHILLED.

because he insisted on opening the window 

and i was FREEZING.

there is snow on the ground, you know.

now,

i'm off to bed.

because i have lots of classes tomorrow.

and my head hurts.

so i'm hoping that's gone in the morning.

love to you all.

xo

logan is calling my name. but the snow won't let me go.

it's snowing.

so i'm stuck in salt lake.

bored?

yeah, you could say that.

it's 2:20 AM
i can't sleep for the life of me.
and i have to get up in two and a half hours.


your prayers in my behalf would be appreciated.

engagements

today i sat next to the CUTEST guy in biology.

like, his style was unreal.

well, he was asking me questions about the class and i was like oh maybe he'll ask for my number.

i really hoped he would.

i happened to catch a glimpse of a freaking WEDDING RING on his left hand.

....of course.

so,

i naturally took my gold pearl ring and put it on my left ring finger.

just because i felt embarrassed if i had accidentally been flirty, or what not.

it's weird that you have to be aware of that kind of stuff!

later in the conversation he caught a glimpse of my hand.

and what happens next is freaking hilarious.

we had a full on conversation about being/getting married.

never, have i EVER had any conversation as great as this one.

he totally thought i was engaged.

i decided i'm going to start pulling that trick a little more often.

but next time, it will be when i want to get out of a conversation with someone i'm not interested in.

i love college.

just another taco tuesday

today i think i was given the most wonderful compliment i could have ever asked for.

i was at taco tuesday (obviously)

and the cashier---whom i don't even know...

said to me as i gave her my debit card,

"every time you come here, you are so happy. like you just love life."

it seriously melted my heart.

i could not believe she even knew my face,

let alone my attitude on life.

but it made me happy.

i really do love life, and i think it's the little things like taco tuesday, talking with friends, finishing a day of classes, etc.

that make me so happy.

i am learning all about "life-givers" and "life-takers" in one of my classes.

i particularly love this concept.

it's pretty much the idea that there are people that are always complaining, unhappy with their situation, gloomy, waiting for things to get better, etc.

they are called "life-takers"

because they suck life out of you.

they make you feel low and almost unhappy about life when you're around them too much.

and then there are life-givers.

people that are happy, optimistic, make the best out of unfortunate situations, and find joy in the journey.

they make you feel good, and happy.

they make you feel uplifted.

i try to be a life-giver.

not for others, but for myself.

i challenge you to do the same.

xoxo

boy post

IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT HEARING GIRL BLABBER,

STOP READING.

NOW.

okay,

for those of you interested in reading about the annoyances of dating in logan, utah....

read on.

i have lots of little annoyances.

for one,

when i say EVERYONE, i know and understand that it isn't fair to group EVERYONE into one generic category.

but, i do anyways.

i know that not EVERYONE acts a certain way, or whatever else it is,

but sometimes it just seems like it.

for one,

i feel like i always find something wrong with guys that otherwise, are really great.

for example:

they're too short, too lanky/skinny, too hick-ish, too creepy, too clingy, too into themselves, too boring, too quiet, too into partying, etc, etc, etc.

why i do this?

i guess i'm picky?

but really, not really.

i think i need to be picky, but at the same time, maybe i am too picky.

i feel like i'm anxiously waiting to meet someone that is 

too great.

too respectful.

too nice.

too.....just like me.

he exists, right?

someone great exists.

and he's doing great things right now.

and i'm busy trying to nicely inform people i'm not interested in pursuing anything further with them.

it's a little frustrating.

i used to love reading

this is my biology book.

see....because there's a frog on it.

it was $189.

it better be a DANG good book, because i stood in the aisle just staring at it 

and all my other books i have to buy

and almost cried.

one of the workers comes by and goes,

"you findin' everything okay?"

well, the issue is that i DID find everything. 

but it's NOT anywhere near okay.

he agreed with me.

found out he's in one of my classes.

....new friend of the day.

now i have about nine books.

and no bank account balance.

awwwwwwwkward

i realized that i really have a lot of awkward, random, and funny encounters with people/situations
every day.
here are some of today's highlights:

#1
running into people on the shuttle.

sometimes, i wish the conversation could stay at, "hey! nice to see you!"

instead, sometimes people i don't really want to sit and small talk with

just keep awkwardly forcing conversation.

so i smile and nod and say something along the lines of 

"cooooool."

..."that's so funny..."

"craaaaaazy"

and hope that the conversation ends.

and then they'll go,

"yeah, and then....."

don't get me wrong, i love talking to people.

but sometimes it's like,

i really don't even know you well enough to have a conversation both of us would rather not have.

let's just be awkward and get over it.

#2-

getting to a class that looks like it's completely full.

..finding a seat in the middle of the room, middle of the row.

...having to climb over twenty people's toes and trip over bags on the ground.

#3-

sitting next to someone in class and continually, accidentally rubbing elbows with him.

so awkward.

#4-

getting on the shuttle (again) and having to stand next to this guy that always drunk texts/calls me.

he introduces me to his friend and says, "she loves me."

i decided i need to start walking home from school instead of taking the shuttle.

#4-

hearing about "free pizza" at fredrico's

and having to sit through an hour meeting on selling "the living scriptures" DVDs.

only to get COLD pizza at the END.
we had to introduce ourselves to a whole group of people and say why we were interested in the program.
i said,
"hi....i'm jasmine.....i'm here because.....well.....okay i'm here for the free food."

#5-

being in the middle of an important phone call with a manager in my internship program

and having my phone randomly shut off in the middle of it.

........i kept talking for who knows how long, before i realized he was not responding.

i love a lot

yay for the first day of a new semester!

i woke up bright and early for the gym...still going with this one. go me.

i went to four new classes 

and it felt SO good to be on campus.

i loved being on the shuttle

i loved smiling at people walking by me

i loved running into people i knew

i loved meeting new people in new classes.

i loved having to climb over people just to get to an open seat in my history class.

i loved the kid that tripped and fell in the middle of a lecture class

i loved feeling the cold air on my face as i walked.

i loved seeing cute boys

i loved going to seven different institute classes with zane just to find a class with cute boys/girls

(fail).

are we shallow for that?

maybe.

i loved feeling productive and accomplished.

i loved taking a mid-afternoon catnap.

i loved going and getting free food tonight at FHE.

i loved watching the bachelor and convincing the neighbor boys to come watch it with us.

i loved laying on aj's lovesack and watching pretty little liars.

i loved being "needy" and "bossy" and seeing kevin so frustrated with me.

don't get inbetween me and my tv time.

i loved today.

xo

sunday

oh, i loved this day.

it was so fun to see so many people that i haven't seen in so long!

church was great.

lots of hugs and catching up with people.

after,

i took my weekly 

sunday snooze...

which ended up being a four hour nap.

later i went to a church fireside by myself because my friends weren't

feelin' it,

which is fine!

but i realized that i am okay to do things on my own.

i wanted to go to the fireside, 

so i went.

i walked over to the church by myself and in a way it felt very refreshing.

i was okay being alone.

i was okay to not have someone to sit with

and not knowing anyone that was there.

i was okay,

because i was able to listen to the words that were being spoken to me.

i was able to take everything in and know that i was where i wanted to be.

life is great.

the fireside was great and then i came back and went to the gym at our apartment complex with brynne.

i love the good habits i'm getting into.

i plan on going every morning.

KEEP ASKING ME HOW I'M DOING.

i need to keep it up.

and then of course i watched the back-to-back episodes of 

Kourtney and Kim Take New York.

i really don't like Kris Humphries.

even if he is beautiful.

now i'm going to bed.

first day of classes tomorrow.

so excited.

xo

day in a nutshell

today was a productive day.

woke up.

went to gym with brynne.

showered/got ready

went shopping with mady

(all day)

had dinner

walked to the spectrum for the basketball game with brynne

contemplated life, watched awkward couples, watched a cheerleader fall on her butt (sad, but great) ran into friends, tried to get people in front of us to sit down....

did everything BUT watch the game.

walked home.

watched the notebook and cried like a little baby.

now it's bedtime and i'm going to sleep.

i have an early morning appointment with......church.

and i will be looking my best.

there's new boys in the ward, you know...

aggie nation

i am FINALLY back in logan!!!!!!!

i had a wonderful time in salt lake with my family,

but i was anxious to be here.

i sat in bumper to bumper traffic for three hours

to get here.

and then i saw a house/barnyard completely engulfed in flames just off the road.

firetrucks and firemen (obviously they come together)

were at the scene.

i have never seen with my own two eyes a building completely on fire.

i've seen smoke.

i've seen the aftermath,

but never the whole scene at once.

so i pulled over and watched this building burn.

it was sad, really.

to think that people were losing something close to them.

but in another way,

it was one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen.

it was a campfire times ten.

i was drawn to it

and i sat there for a long while watching.

it was so interesting to see the firemen rushing around with huge hoses.

fun detour in my trip.

upon arriving at 5A,

mady rushed to my car and i screamed.

i have not seen her in three weeks!!!!!!

i did not want to stop hugging her.

so i didn't.

zane came over to chat and ended up volunteering being forced

to unload my car.

big task...seeing that i had every belonging stuffed in little fido.

mady and i decorated our place.

it's so home-y and adorable!!!!!

it looks like a home.

it is our home.

brynne came back, too.

i am so happy to be reunited with my friends.

gahhh.

mady and i went to walmart.

i've missed that place.

we came back and cleaned.

then i met a boy that i want to marry.

we all know i get ahead of myself.

but i wouldn't mind dating him.

AJ came to visit.

he broke my heart when he told me we needed to take our shelves down or they'd rip a hole in the wall 

and break the tv.

apparantely there isn't a stud in the wall that they're hanging from?

so he's going to help us hang them another way.

but i'm sad, because they were our shining feature of this place.

now i'm sitting in my bed and zane's annoying friend

(who walks right into our place without even knocking and rummages through our rooms)

is looking at all my pictures and giving unnecessary commentary.

i really just want him to leave.

but he won't.

so i keep blogging and ignore him

because most of the time that lets people know you're not interested in making conversation.

too bad he doesn't pick up on hints.

planet yogurt

tonight i spent the evening working at the good ole' 

planet yogurt.

what more could one want in life but a planet of frozen yogurt?

...yeah i can think of a few things, too.

as i was slaving away (i know, it sounds easy, but it can be high intensity..at times)

i thought to myself,"i could be making MORE money babysitting right now. more money for less work."

gosh, if i could spend the rest of my life with a career in babysitting

for all of you thinking...well duh, be a mom:

...and get PAID for it

i'd be set.

instead,

this is what i got to deal with tonight.

on not one, but TWO separate instances,

i had something like this occur.

#1: nineteen year old guy

 (he was probably in his mid twenties, but because he was wearing one of those hideous Ed Hardy size Small t-shirt, we're saying his nineteen).

anyways, he comes STORMING into the store with this glazed over look on his face. and he goes,

"bathroom. where's your bathroom!?"

i just point behind me.

he goes in.

comes out.

doesn't make eye contact.

and runs out.

weird.

but i kept working.

an hour later,

an older woman with a candy-cane REAL cane

comes hobbling over and goes

"can i use your bathroom?"

so i smiled and showed her where it was.

well she was in there for a very long time.
i kept thinking,
"should i knock on the door?"
"is she okay?"
"ummm.....but really?"


finally,
she came hobbling out.
and left.

mind you,

both customers did not buy yogurt. 

they came primarily to use the restroom.

thinking nothing of it,

i keep working.

until it's time to close.

and i went to take out the trash in this bathroom.

i opened the door and about fell over.

NEVER HAVE I EVER HAD SUCH AN URGE TO FREAK OUT AS MUCH AS I DID IN THAT MOMENT.

i could see this from a two year old,

maybe even a six year old.

but a grown adult?

i don't know which one of the two to hold responsible,

but either way.....

HOW DISGUSTING.

sit on the bowl/aim in the bowl.

life moves right along.

....for most people.

movie critic

today my mom and i went to the movie 

we bought a zoo.

i'm a quote person-

i LOVE quotes.

mainly because i have an insane love of words.

i love poetry and the way words sound

when the right ones are chosen together.

i love how words can touch you emotionally

or mean something great to you personally.

so i loved this movie because i took a few of the lines 

to heart.

this was my very favorite scene:

"sometimes all it takes is 20 seconds of insane courage."

oh, i loved that.

in 20 seconds you could smile at someone

stand up to someone

tell someone you love them

fix a problem 

say what's on your mind.

really! 

i'm going to start telling myself this.

and using it to guide me when i'm hesitating over saying something.

and if i embarrass myself,

it's only for twenty seconds.

try it.

xo

late? nah

well it's four in the morning.

i've been playing on my computer.

this is an idea of how i let myself randomly end up on the most BIZARRE sites.

because i let myself transfer ideas really fast,

which leads me to some interesting things.

i started

watching interviews of pretty little liars' actresses

which lead to stalking their real lives

by watching paparazzi videos of them.

which led to googling the guys they were seen with.

which turned into reading a lot of wikipedia articles.

which turned into stalking twitter pages.

which turned into me wanting to do my makeup like ashley benson.

which turned into me watching youtube tutorials.

which resulted in me pulling out my own makeup at 3:30 am

which turned into me wanting to have my eyebrows look like lucy hale's

which led to me getting the bright idea to pencil my eyebrows to define shape.

which led to me looking like a clown

(would have taken pictures, but it was way beyond shameful)

which led to me scrubbing my face.

which turned into me deciding to clean my makeup brushes.
which turned into me smelling twelve different shampoos.
which evolved into googling
"best drugstore shampoos"
which eventually turned into
"best drugstore lipsticks"
which turned into saving six different brands into my phone.

which turned into me back in my bed at four am.
which turned into blogging.
which started off well, but then i got annoyed that i don't know if the proper grammer is:
led to
or
lead to.

which turned into me googling that question.
which ended with mixed responses from the cyber world.
which left me frustrated.

.....and people wonder what in the world i do when i stay up so late?

i tell them:

nothing, really.

sluggish

my blog has been a bit boring as of lately.

mainly because nothing THAT exciting has been going on.

i promise that by the end of the week,

it will pick up.

i'm getting anxious to get back up to logan.

i've been a bit of a slug.

watching full day marathons of pretty little liars,

the bachelor,

and google-ing the most 

RANDOM things.

i'm scaring myself, 

actually.

wait...i was productive today.

i ran speed-walked on the treadmill.

go me.

yum

i'm not going to go on 

a tangent

about how much food i've had this break and how i feel like i've gained 29 pounds since being home

and my face looks like a bloated chipmunk

and all i can think about is all the treats and huge meals i've had

and how i need to exercise 17 hours a day for the next month

and how i cringe thinking about putting one more cookie in my mouth.

i'm just not going to tell you about it.

but i will tell you that immediate action needs to be taken.

end of story.

in case you were unaware, it's a new year

i really love people.

i love great conversations.

i love laughing at people's words.

i love having a good time with good friends.

i love the feeling that life is exactly where it should be.

i'm so excited for this new year.

it's so redundant, but i don't mind hearing it over and over again.

this is going to be a good year.

i know it is.

every year is so wonderful, they just keep getting better.

i have lots of goals.

not resolutions, just goals.

goals to make me a better person-

for me.

life goals.

i think it's important to evaluate ourselves each year.

"how am i doing?" 

i'm excited to watch myself grow and have new experiences this year.

it's amazing that life keeps moving, and we have no idea where it will take us.

who we'll meet.

where will go.

the challenges that will arise.

the lessons we'll learn.

sometimes i find myself wishing i could figure out what career i'll end up with

and who my husband will be.

where i'll live.

how many kids i'll have.

what challenges i need to be prepared for.

and all that kind of stuff.

but i don't really want to know.

that's the whole point of living life.

i am just going to do everything i can to be a better person and do what i can to be happy.

that's the ultimate goal of life, to me.

xo