day 4

i've been laying in my bed for......(counting on fingers....) 

....4 days now?

4 days.

because my teeth are gone, you know?

they are.

well, 3 of them.

if you couldn't tell from my videos....i opened my mouth PREETTTTYYYY wide after surgery.

and i'm suffering the consequences of that now.

i can barely open my poor mouth!

like...at all!

and my stitches fell out today.

which is totally normal,

but totally disgusting.

i cried...because they were on my tongue.

i don't do well with these things, okay?!

anyways.

i've been sleeping or on my computer this whole time.

and i've been doing a lot of online shopping.

i just submitted 2...yes TWO orders

for clothes.

i'm hoping they really are cute and i'm not just delirious/desperate.

ahhhhhhhhh who am i kidding.

SOS.

xoxo

jasmine

delirious

got my wisdom teeth out today.....

here is some entertainment:

confessing that i'm engaged to the "Bachelor," Sean Lowe:

the car ride home:

ALREADY?!

today i went to the first "farewell talk" out of all my friends that are serving missions.

NESSA.

it was such an exciting/weird feeling.

exciting because i know that it is the most amazing thing EVER, and i'm so excited for her.

exciting because i can feel excitement radiating out of my ear-holes for her.

exciting because i know that will be me soon!

and weird because i know that will be me soon!

i loved it.

every minute.

and it made me sad to have to say goodbye....

and knowing that it would be a while before i'll see her again.

i love nessa.

she is the greatest person.

so sweet and loving.

such a wonderful friend.

i love you, nessa.

detroit is lucky to have you.

xoxo

overflowing

could i be luckier?

i can't even believe how wonderful my life is.

i have been blessed with the best family in the world.

i have so many things!

i have wonderful traditions.

i was raised knowing jesus christ.

i have the BEST friends in the entire world.

i'm so lucky to know so many wonderful people that bring positivity and love into my life.

i have a wonderful job...doing what i LOVE.

i have everything i could ever want....and more.

and i am so thankful for that.

xoxoxo

yours truly,

jasmine

palm springs.....or church? let that marinate for a sec

mark yo' calendars

SUNDAY MARCH 24TH AT 10:50 A.M.

is the date/time of my FAREWELL TALK.



....because why would you go on a spring break trip when you could hear me speak? these are the questions i will never be able to answer.


love you all. xoxo

see you....soon

well, christina,

if you read this

THIS is for you.

i had to say my first "goodbye" today.

and i'm not saying that i liked it.

because i didn't.

it's weird.

because for so long people have been making comments about not seeing me forever

and "oh when you leave me forever..."

but i can quickly shut them up because 

"it's forever away."

well, now it's not.

christina is leaving for a study abroad to england tomorrow

...and not getting back until may.

which means i won't be seeing her until i get back.

which is a weird concept.

right? am i right?

and i don't like it because this really is only the beginning.

i don't know how i'll manage hahaha

but christina.

i love you to pieces.

i love that we met in gym and became best friends for life.

i just love you.

and can't wait to hear all about your european travels.

xoxox

the most beautiful gift

cali for christmas

well, folks.

i'm off to california today.

technically, i'm off to vegas today.

but nonetheless my little family is off for vacation.

if we ever get out the door.

i'm currently sitting on my floor with my hair wet, and procrastinating packing.

at first, i wasn't THAT excited for this trip, 

because it's a super long drive.

but now i seriously can't even wait.

i get to see my cute cousins that live in southern california

and this will probably be the last time i see them before i leave for my mission.

they already have so many fun things planned out for us when we get there! 

like going on a boat parade all around newport harbor.

i didn't even know there was such a thing?

but there is,

from what i understand,

you sit in a boat and ride all through the harbor looking at all these christmas things?

so that will be so fun.

and then mid-way through the week we are heading to san louis abisbo

because bradley has a basketball tournament there.

i've never been, but i've heard it's beautiful.

i think we're even staying in a semi-decent place?

we booked a hotel motel in st. george once

that really was the pits.

i was scarred for a good while.

so,

everything is set (except my suitcase)

and i'm ready to be there!

merry christmas, everyone!

yours truly,

jasmine

oh hey

today i worked

all day long.

and it was lovely, actually.

i just really enjoyed myself.

and i rocked a baby to sleep

and as i looked at my reflection in the window

i couldn't help but imagine myself as a mom.

and i just got really excited

and then i snapped myself out of it, because it was bugging me.

my phone is gone-zo.

lost on wasatch blvd.

in the snow banks.

or chopped up by the snow plow somewhere fifty miles from here.

who knows.

what i do know, is that it's gone, and i'm having serious withdrawls.

i can't scroll through instagram?

i can't text/call people?

and what about all my random notes that i leave to myself in my memos?

like i was reaching for my phone the other minute to look up a song that i heard

and saved to the recordings on my phone

because i knew i would forget the name/lyrics!

and i did!

but now i'll never know what song it was that i was in love with.

bum-mer.

annnnnnnd my sister and i shamefully walked around the mall tonight in grungy's.

like i seriously wore one of my obesity sweatshirts and my hair was half falling out.

annnd my makeup was shameful.

and i was so tired that my eyes were bloodshot, but i had no idea until i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

but when i walked in the door afterwards, my mom was like

wow looks like you popped some serious blood vessels.

um, no. i'm just exhausted.

oh, and frozen yogurt is ten times better when your mom pays for it, and doesn't even know she did.

you know, like that's really christmas spirit. giving without even realizing!

oh, and one more thing.

i had to get some passport-type photos for my ukrainian visa application.

they needed 8 of them.

so i was like, oh i'll just get that done at walgreens.

so i did,

and i went to pick them up tonight.

$58.98

whhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

like, that isn't a joke.

silence

on this day of incredible tragedy

"peace i leave with you, my peace i give unto you;

not as the world giveth, give I unto you.."

-john 14:27

i have shed many tears today.

i have felt the sadness and sorrow.

i have been confused.

tonight at the mormon tabernacle choir performance,

we held a moment of silence 

and i could feel the entire congregation silently praying for the families in connecticut.

i don't have answers, but i know that He gives me the peace i need 

in the midst of so much heartache.

prayers to all affected.

prayers to this nation.

many, many prayers tonight.

yours truly,

jasmine

big happenings

i'm currently obsessed with every song i'm listening to 

at the moment.

like....music just really does it for me.

lyrics just really do it for me.

words just really do it for me.

...

today was my first day at the alta ski resort day care.

i woke up early to get on the bus,

because.... you know my car is out of business.

so i wait out in the dark this morning.

the bus comes, and i had a ten dollar bill to pay my $4.00 fare.

so i give it to the bus driver, who motions to the machine.

he's like "just put it in that machine."

so i do.

and i awkwardly stand there while the skiers bumped shoulders with me.

the bus driver asks me what i'm doing

and i'm like....waiting for my change?

he informs me that i won't be getting any.

because apparently you need exact change for the bus.

so it was ten dollars for me to ride up the canyon.

for ten bucks i think i should have gotten to sit wherever the heck i wanted,

but i got to stand next to the bus driver

because the bus was already full.

so i got to practically fall into his lap the whole way up the canyon,

and it smelled like damp socks?

i miss fido.

that's all i want for christmas....

my little, trusty car.

you know when you're a kid and you know that if you only ask for one thing, you'll get it?

but you still know you'll get other gifts, too?

i told my parents i don't even want anything else.

i don't need anything else!

i just need my fido baby.

tonight i babysat my cutie cousins

nicholas, sophie, and ella.

i gave the girlies baths

and we played "salon" for a couple hours as i dried their hair

and "pampered" them.

we all watched a christmas movie.

that turned out NOT to be a christmas movie

(thanks a lot strawberry shortcake....the info box said something about gingerbread? i figured that would FOR SURE be christmas-y. how am i to know that every character in that show is named after a dessert)?

but it's fine because i let them have cookies.

yes, multiple cookies for each child.

because......it's almost christmas, which makes it okay?

and i got to listen to ella all night randomly tell me how much she hates santa.

she's two...(or is she three, shoot)!...and apparently santa came to her little day care yesterday while my aunt was at the gym.

.... he caught her really off-guard,

and now i'm certain that she's scarred for life.

me: what are you asking santa for this christmas?

ella: i don't like santa.

well, that's too darn bad, isn't it?!

yours truly,

jasmine

the race.

words

choking under

 thoughts 

racing faster than i can chase

slow down, just slow down

my apologies

i'm still trying to catch my breath

the uvu thermometer thinks it's 82 degrees outside? i say, no!

i really am just baffled over the fact that some people think it's appropriate to be wearing shorts in 30 degree weather?

like....no....it's not okay!

i've seen people in shorts, a girl in a mini-skirt (yes....it was bad), and people riding bikes with no gloves?

i can see my breath when i'm SITTING IN MY CAR

let alone standing in the freezing air.

just put on some pants.

put on some gloves.

speaking of...

yesterday i went to cafe rio with christina and laurel,

because i just wanted to.

i was wearing my very favorite mittens 

(they are not only cute, but warm...because they're lined in the inside, you know)?

oh, i love these mittens.

i ordered my chicken salad, after asking the lady if she would choose pork or chicken on this particular monday.

she said, "chicken," and i said, "chicken it is."

i paid in cash, because i don't have anything in my checking account.
(thanks Gold's freaking Gym for taking all the money i was proud to own. it's a good thing i work out so often, that money is being put to good use....)

i should have just gotten the tostada, but that tortilla on the bottom makes all the difference, and i'd hate to neglect the tortilla! besides, no one even likes corn tortillas, do they? i mean, they get so soggy and taste just like paper?

anyways.

when i left, i realized i lost my mitten! 

the right hand one! which is the good one!

so i went back.

and searched forever.

looking under tables,

by the soda fountain,

by the bowl of mints,

and i even asked the employees if they had seen it.

it was nowhere.

so i was really sad and couldn't get myself to pull away in my car
 (that i really shouldn't have been driving, because did i mention a tree fell on it? well, it did. and because of that, my windshield is shattered and my side-view mirrors fell off. but cafe rio was calling for me)!

so i made christina go look for it,

because you know how sometimes when you're doing a word search, and can't find a word,

and then someone glances over your shoulder and just points to the word you've been trying to find for the past hour? yes, that's why i don't do word-searches.

well, i was hoping that would be the case with this situation.

she came outside holding my mitten

and i cried.

that's how much i care.

so you could say that was a good time.

(side-note: i trusted those employees when they told me they HAD NOT SEEN MY MITTEN. so, people of cafe rio......why did you have it sitting at the register? yeah, that's what i thought)!

and then today i had a history final.

it wasn't supposed to be comprehensive,

but then it WAS ALL COMPREHENSIVE.

so i just played russian roulette and hoped for the best.

it was a fun guessing game.

then i sold that history book back SO FAST.

they gave me $9.50 for it, plus they had a bowl of free mini candy bars.

so i took one a few

and then put some in my purse for the road.

i mean,

finals week is so stressful sometimes.

ha.

who am i kidding.

my life is wonderful and i wouldn't trade it for anything.

my thoughts

refrain from judging,

be more open to loving.

don't you think?

xo

jasmine

do good. be good.

i just can't get over how beautiful and wonderful this life is.

how people are truly good.

i am amazed at the amount of love people have in their hearts.

i know that each person i come in contact with has so much to offer me.

whether it's a smile exchanged, or a heartfelt conversation.

i can learn so much from those that surround me.

i truly believe that every person wants to be and do good. 

everyone has different weaknesses, but we all have strengths. 

we all have something that we can learn from others...

and we all have something we can teach.

i hope i can always remember to use the goodness that's instilled within me.

hold on to me as you go

so remember how i told you that i loved philip phillips

despite his name?

well....christina and i made this video last night.

and i love it.

and i keep watching it.

because it brings me back to how great all these nights were.

xo

jasmine

pesto and chicken crepe....is rumbling in my stomach right now

so.

this is my favorite song right now.

(my dad ALWAYS gets so mad at me when i say that, because at any given moment, i have about 43 favorite songs "right now").

sorry that i love my music?

anyways.

i know this song is super popular....which normally bothers me,

because i tend to like the tunes that aren't all over the radio.

however,

this song hits it right on the head for how i'm feeling.

if you really listen to the lyrics, it applies to leaving on a mission.

for me, i'm leaving for a year and a half.

to a new place.

completely new, and quite far from the home i'm used to.

"Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home"

um....
okay....fine...philip phillips.....go ahead and make this song just for me.
go right ahead.

and p.s. who names their child philip phillips?! i bet you think you're SO original there. don't ya?


anyways.
i feel like i could bold every word in this whole song.
and i do-- i bold it in my head.

the road i'm about to go down is completely unfamiliar to me.
in fact, this road is unfamiliar in every, single way possible.
sometimes the fear gets a grip on me,
when i start thinking too hard.
when i start to look at the ukrainian alphabet and it doesn't make sense.
when i go shopping with my family and burst into tears because i keep thinking how i won't be able to shop for so long.
when i think about how hard the mtc will be.
when i think about the huge possibility that maybe my companions won't even speak english...and how in the world will i be able to communicate with them?!
 and what if i hate borscht....and that's all ukrainians eat?!
"Borscht is the most popular soup of Ukrainian cuisine that got its name from the most important ingredient, beets, called in old Slavic, borscht."

but then,
when i realize how silly and selfish i'm being,
i think of how i'll never be left alone.
how this is the best thing that I could possibly be doing with my life.
how i know that the demons are there... just to fill me with fear.
how i know that i was called to ukraine for a very specific reason.
how i will be lost in the service of the Lord.
how i won't even care that i'm wearing the same five outfits: week after week after week (crossing my fingers that i won't mind that one).
how i will be fluent in ukrainian by the end of my mission.
how much i'll grow those eighteen months.....more than i ever have before.
how i will learn to truly learn to be humbe.
how i will truly learn about myself.
about how strong i really am.
how ukraine will be.....my home.

so philip,
thank you for your wise words.


and God,
thank you for trusting me enough to send me to this new place.
to teach of Jesus Christ.
and the infinite amount of love He not only has for me,
but for all of us.



xoxo
jasmine

ode to the roommates

meet two of my very best friends:

laurel (left)

and christina (right)

we have had the most amazing experience together the past while. 

i love both of these girls so much.

 i became great friends with christina while we were both at utah state,

and laurel and i have been friends since high school.

we all moved in together,

and all decided to serve missions. 

it's been so amazing to share countless conversations, tears, temple trips, thoughts, fears, and ideas 

with these great girls.

we have grown so close, and i'm so glad we all finally have our mission calls!!!!!

laurel: ARGENTINA

christina: PUERTO RICO

me: UKRAINE

how amazing is that?!

......of course i'm leaving last. what am i going to do with myself?!

love you girls.

xo

mission call

KYIV, UKRAINE, people!

ukraine. as in the country on the other side of the world. the country that speaks UKRAINIAN?! the place i'll be serving for the next year and a half. (starting in march). crazy. crazy.

and....here's the video.

because i know you want to watch it as many times as i have.

(i guess you have to click on the link)?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKwrOJsL5yU

so....tired...

it's six thirty a.m and i've been sitting on this couch for two hours now.
i woke up around four a.m. feeling like it was christmas morning.
...and then i realized my room smelled musty (you know that smell when you sleep with your door closed/windows shut)?
i tried to fall back asleep.....with no success.
so, here i am.
my eyes sting and i'm so tired, but my mind won't let me sleep.

it's wednesday, people! don't you know what THAT means?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

yours truly,
jasmine