pesto and chicken crepe....is rumbling in my stomach right now

so.

this is my favorite song right now.

(my dad ALWAYS gets so mad at me when i say that, because at any given moment, i have about 43 favorite songs "right now").

sorry that i love my music?

anyways.

i know this song is super popular....which normally bothers me,

because i tend to like the tunes that aren't all over the radio.

however,

this song hits it right on the head for how i'm feeling.

if you really listen to the lyrics, it applies to leaving on a mission.

for me, i'm leaving for a year and a half.

to a new place.

completely new, and quite far from the home i'm used to.

"Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home"

um....
okay....fine...philip phillips.....go ahead and make this song just for me.
go right ahead.

and p.s. who names their child philip phillips?! i bet you think you're SO original there. don't ya?


anyways.
i feel like i could bold every word in this whole song.
and i do-- i bold it in my head.

the road i'm about to go down is completely unfamiliar to me.
in fact, this road is unfamiliar in every, single way possible.
sometimes the fear gets a grip on me,
when i start thinking too hard.
when i start to look at the ukrainian alphabet and it doesn't make sense.
when i go shopping with my family and burst into tears because i keep thinking how i won't be able to shop for so long.
when i think about how hard the mtc will be.
when i think about the huge possibility that maybe my companions won't even speak english...and how in the world will i be able to communicate with them?!
 and what if i hate borscht....and that's all ukrainians eat?!
"Borscht is the most popular soup of Ukrainian cuisine that got its name from the most important ingredient, beets, called in old Slavic, borscht."

but then,
when i realize how silly and selfish i'm being,
i think of how i'll never be left alone.
how this is the best thing that I could possibly be doing with my life.
how i know that the demons are there... just to fill me with fear.
how i know that i was called to ukraine for a very specific reason.
how i will be lost in the service of the Lord.
how i won't even care that i'm wearing the same five outfits: week after week after week (crossing my fingers that i won't mind that one).
how i will be fluent in ukrainian by the end of my mission.
how much i'll grow those eighteen months.....more than i ever have before.
how i will learn to truly learn to be humbe.
how i will truly learn about myself.
about how strong i really am.
how ukraine will be.....my home.

so philip,
thank you for your wise words.


and God,
thank you for trusting me enough to send me to this new place.
to teach of Jesus Christ.
and the infinite amount of love He not only has for me,
but for all of us.



xoxo
jasmine