reality check

i'm back from my lovely trip!
boy, did i have a good time!

i love getting away from reality and responsibilities!
i spent every day at the beach...

...minus the 24 hours i was quarantined in our place with freaking FOOD POISONING.
i literally stayed in my bed all day/night
except to....well....you know...
gross.

it was awwwwful, people. let me tell you. awful.

i cried and cried and cried.
i even hid from the maids when they came to make our beds.
i was in the closet.
i just wanted them to leave.
grow up, right?
i still don't really know why i hid in the closet, but i did.



that aside, i had the most wonderful time.
i loved every, stinkin' second.
(except for the seconds i was hating the world).


now i'm back to reality, and not too happy about it.



so...i'm going to go lather myself up in lotion...in hopes that my nice tan won't peel right off my body tomorrow.


yours truly,
jasmine

double posting

i'm currently stressing.

i wish i could pack a suitcase with the bare minimum amount of clothing.

i wish i could be confident that i'm bringing the right amount of things to wear.

but i can't.

never have been able to, never will.

i pack everything.

what if i'm cold? what if i don't feel cute in this outfit that i always feel cute in? what if i am not in the mood for this shirt? what if it rains, even though it's supposed to be ninety degrees all week?

what if my flip-flop breaks?


right now i'm packing for my favorite, annual california trip.
it's ten days.
and i've been packing for ten hours.

i have taken all my clothes out of my packed suitcase
 like seven times,

telling myself i'd re-pack with less.

somehow i always ended up packing more than i had the time before.

it's not easy to just "pack light."

the sad thing is,

i guarantee you i will only wear like three of the things i packed.
that's how it always turns out.

but you just never know,

do you

yours truly,

jasmine

reflections

i got a letter in the mail.
it was addressed to me...in handwriting that looked strangely like my own.
from florida?
i don't know anyone in florida....that i can think of?

so i opened it.
it was from ME.
from me in 2007.
and then i remembered....i had a young women's leader (that i adored)
who had us write letters to our "future selves"
that she would send back to us in a few years.
i didn't think she would!
it was still sealed from that day in september when i addressed an envelope to my own self/house.

it could not have come at a better time.
i cried the whole time i read it.
it's absolutely amazing what happens in five years time.
it's amazing how many experiences we go through.
it's amazing how much we learn.
it's also amazing how much we stay the same!
i mean....my past self knew exactly what to say to my future self.
i still have the same hopes/dreams/etc..that i did five years ago (although they have been slightly moderated or altered, they are still the same).

i thought i'd put a few sentences in here that really stood out to me/half of my letter haha

"why hello there. hope all is well and life is going well in general. i can't even imagine what i'm like right now, because i can hardly even picture what's going to happen next month! i guess it just makes me realize that everything that seems like a big deal to me now, really isn't.  life goes by too fast to stress over stupid things. obviously, if i'm reading this, i got through the stupid drama that goes on in middle school.  i probably even forgot everything that's going on in my life right now. it's not that exciting.  anywya, i hope i'm a good person, and living with no regrets.  i hope i'm getting good grades and thinking about good colleges to go to.  right now i want to go out of state to maybe ucla or usc.  anywhere to get away from annoying parents.  just please don't go to byu! i hate byu! i hope that high school is fun and exciting.  oh yeah, i really hope you have an adorable car. hopefully i'm on cheer, accadians, or dance company. let's hope.

i hope that i'm good friends with my family.  i hope sabrina and i are getting along.  i really hope nothing tragic   has happened to me or anyone in my family.  like getting a life-threatening illness or someone dying.  nothing like that has happened yet...but you know, bad things can happen in an instant.

i hope you are still loving life and living up to everything you have the potential to be."

there is a lot more, but isn't that amazing?!

i mean, there will always be drama/annoyances in life...but give it five years, and you really do forget about it! i have no idea what was going on in my life when i was writing this. i had no idea that although i hoped and wished nothing tragic would happen,...that i'd lose a cousin to cancer, that my grandparents would pass away, that my mom would be diagnosed with cancer. i had no idea how much those events would shape me as a person. i had no idea that they would be turning points in my life. i had no idea that i'd be a cheerleader, that my car would be adorable, but not the kind of adorable i had envisioned.  i had no idea what kind of person i would be. i had no idea who i would meet, date, become best friends with, cry over, etc.  i had no idea how happy i would be with life. i had no idea that sabrina and i would become best friends. i had no idea where i'd end up at school. i just had no idea, period.


that's how it is now. that's how it will always be. i still have no idea who i'll meet, who i'll date, who i'll marry, where i'll live, what my job will be, what cars i'll drive, what challenges i'll face. i have no idea. what i do know is that life works itself out in a brilliantly wonderful way. it always will. i do know that although i'll change, i'll always stay the same....really. i know that in five years from now, i'll look back and won't remember exactly what was going on in my life at this second. but i'll think to myself, "wow, a lot has happened."  and i'll smile and cry, just like i did today.



yours truly,
jasmine xo

a lovely life

i went down to provo today.

can i tell you that i've always been really against provo, and just really negative about it.

i don't really know why?
so i even surprised myself when i found my soul yearning to go live there?
i know, strange stuff.
you can go back and read my life story post if you really want to.
just scroll for a while until you find the novel that is really confusing
yet simple.

anyways

i've only been to provo once.
so navigating around the city was a little new to me today.

but let me tell you,

this place was charming.

aside from the fact that i was lost for an hour trying to get back to the freeway

(in my mother's minivan, mind you)

...i just loved it.

i fell in love with it the same way i did with logan.

i think i fall in love with things/places too easily.

but, i did fall in love with it.

it's really comical that i'm living in provo and not even going to BYU.

UVU kind of counts, right?

i just keep thinking of that scene in mean girls where you hear someone yelling at the girl who shows up at the school therapy session,

"you don't even go here!"

i'm that girl.

hahahaahahhhahaha

also.

i'm on a nicholas sparks 

rage.

i've read two of his books in the past four days,

and i'm on the third?

is he a romance genius, or WHAT?

i mean...people....the guy wrote the notebook.

and a bunch of other really great books i always ignored in the library.

forgive me, nicholas. please.

yours truly,

jasmine

a little bitter

longest. day. ever.

i don't even know why i'm blogging right now. i should be asleep.
7 am to 10 pm. constant go go go.
gah.
i'm excited to be going away to my favorite place in the entire world at the end of this week.
that's what is keeping me sane.

anyways.
i went to the water park, library, children's zumba, reading corner, swimming, dealt with two temper tantrums, switched to watching a different family, wanted to pull out my hair, had a seven year old curl my hair, had spaghetti thrown on me, got punched in the stomach, got hugged multiple times, cuddled with a four year old, and was told i was the favorite babysitter.

worth it?



....ask me tomorrow.

i think i found my new stylist ;)

she gave it a fair effort.

xo

yours truly,

jasmine

steve madden

i'll be honest.

i'm craving fall.

you know, autumn?

don't get me wrong, i love summer.

i love the sunshine and everything.

but i've realized that i absolutely love fall.

and winter even!

can you believe i just said that?

i did.

those are my two favorite seasons.

and i didn't even realize it until.....lately.

i love the changing leaves,

and crisp air.

i just love it.

i love the feeling of waking up in the winter-time to have snow dancing around outside.

i love bundling up in three different blankets and sipping hot chocolate all night.

i love sitting by a fireplace and just being cozy.

and my VERY favorite part is the wardrobe in fall/winter.

i love layering outfits and wearing cute jackets/cardigans/scarves/all of it!

i have an obsession with boots,

and i think i'm one of those people that wears boots as soon as school starts,

because technically it's "fall"

and you are allowed to wear boots in the fall.

why am i thinking all of this when it's only july 15th?

because i started thinking about what boots i want to buy this season.

i have like seven different options here.

and i'm already racking my brain as to which ones i want!

call me crazy.

yours truly,

jasmine

chin wah

well, it's safe to say i'm exhausted.
this has been a week full of constant work play.
just long days, really. 7 am to generally 10 or eleven every night.
i'm pooped.

last night i got off at 5:30 so i decided to go get my eyebrows done, since they've been looking a little shameful.
i walk into the salon and this guy says he'll do them for me.
well, i happen to think men do the best hair in all the land, so i was like, great! go ahead.
i sit down, and he seems a little hesitant at this whole thing.
he kept saying, "okay.....here we go....." and "you ready.....?"
over and over and over and over.
and i'm like..."okay, great...have at it!"
so awkward.
i wanted to just be like, you know what, let's just stop here.
i was so worried to see the finished product.

it was fine. i still have eyebrows. but it's really annoying that my left eyebrow is like way different than my right.
it's been that way forever and it really bothers me. and every time i get them done, the person is always like, "so, did you know one of your eyebrows is shorter than the other?"

.....................what?! give me a mirror. i had no idea.


people, come on.






oh. and my dad ordered chinese food for us last night, and i went to pick it up (because i'm the nicest daughter around).
naturally, i got first dibs on the fortune cookies.
that is half the reason i eat chinese food, you know.

you ready to hear what my fortune said?

okay, here we go.......
you ready.....


"your magnetic personality will draw people to you this month."

so.... do you feel drawn yet?



yours truly,
jasmine

food for thought

i'm just reflecting on how wonderful life is.

it's amazing how everything just works out. everything works out the way it's supposed to, meant to, and needed to.

i'm grateful for that.

yours truly,

jasmine

topless moms

so this blog is just pretty much updates on what i do everyday.

seeing as i'm a part-time, single parent,

the majority of my posts for the next....oh...about month and a half

will be child-related.

if you don't like children,

i would not even bother reading.

that's just my own personal advice.

anyways.

today i took elle to red butte gardens.

i didn't really know where i was going.....

that turned into the theme of the day.

i thought i was there, so i parked on this hill

and walked all the way up, 

child in tow.

and then i'm like..okay, elle, where to?

she just giggles and goes,

"we're not at the garden!"

.

i see a sign that says,

"garden, this way" (arrow pointing up).

so we walked back down the hill,

got in the car,

and drove to the real garden.

i do feel pretty neat driving this car around all day...

now

fast forward to sitting at the sand pit with a bunch of kids

and their moms.

i had a nice conversation with a woman about her lovely tangerine pants.

i was eyeing them the whole time,

and when she complimented me on my shirt,

i just HAD to find out where she got her wardrobe.

so then we talked malls/shopping for a while.

well, 

during this time on the bench,

this woman comes and sits next to me with a little baby.

i'm thinking, oh how cute is this little baby!

and she goes,

"oh....you're hungry?!"

and lifts up her shirt and starts nursing her baby on the bench..

..with her shirt up the whole time.

you guys, you guys!

i was dying.

please at least put a blanket on you or something.

and then she farted.

no, not the baby. i'm positive it was not the baby.

i was just thinking...please get off my bench.

*topless mom's son is in the red. 

*look at my new mom-friend's pants! to die for.

yours truly,

jasmine

cheeto puffs

i work as a nanny.

elle's nanny.

she is precious!

3 years old.....going on 18.)

she is so stinkin' smart

and knows more about hexagonal structures and antelope than i do!

(who honestly knows about those things....anyone)?

i just adore her.

today we got all ready in our "twirly dresses" and ballerina buns

and went to ballet and tap class.

of course, we had to stop off at the pet store next door to the dance studio.

her face lit up when she saw the cats.

good gracious, i think i could just eat little kids right up.

i'm surprised i haven't actually ever gone as far as to do that,

but i'll keep you posted...

every time i nanny for a family, 

or even babysit a couple times,

i become SO attached to the kids.

the amount of love i have for them is just unreal,

so i can only imagine what it will be like when i have children of my own.

on a side note,

i came home from work today,

and my mom had a big canister of those disgusting cheeto puff balls sitting on the counter

you know, the ones that should be illegal to sell in stores

LET ALONE BUY!!!!!?????

yup, those would be the ones.

i had a mini fit in the kitchen.

...and then she came and ate one.
talk about disgusting.

xo

sunday funday

i went to church today. singles ward style. i will admit...i love one o'clock church. there is no rush to wake up early, and having too little of time to get ready is never an issue.

the singles ward is an interesting place. like, i don't mind student wards. but singles wards....are open to all ages. i mean, anyone that is single and ready to mingle....which means there are forty year olds thrown into the bunch. why, people? why?

it was a good meeting. we sang like five patriotic songs. celebrating america's birthday every day, all day. it's fine.

i came home and had a bbq with the fam. mom made us eat outside in the backyard, around our table that seats FOUR people. there are six of us. why? because it's family time. don't mind the bees swarming the table, the blazing heat, or the fact that two family members are sitting on tall stools a foot above everyone else, and that we are all crammed way too close for comfort. i was grumpy, but i did enjoy that blue cheese burger. 

now i'm digesting my food while nestled in my bed, eating lemon drops. my tummy was granted lots of gifts today. lucky pooch.

xo

welp. here i am.


this time, i think i'm here to stay. i went on hiatus for a while....but mind you, it was needed.

i had to get my life in order. i had to get my thoughts in order. i had to get my priorities in order.

check. check. check. and check.

i feel great!! there was a time (if you're smart, you'd realize it was during my blogging break)...
that i wasn't so sure of everything. i wasn't so sure of the direction i was going with everything.
i had a great boyfriend, living in the magical logan, and the money tree was thriving extremely well!

ha.

my boyfriend was great. he was. but things took a shift. ahhhhh the demise of every relationship...a shift. yeahyeahyeah. to be quite honest, he was a major reason i was living in logan for the summer. how can you give up a summer love!? cue the cheesy music and frollicking through sunflower fields.

but really. that was my mindset.

well, now let's cue the depressing music and empty cupboards for the next month. because i was starving to death with not a penny in my pocket. i was working at the car wash, and they conveniently never needed me to work, as the weather was pretty undependable. you'd think he'd have my back! curse you, weather.

so my bank account was pretty non-existent. (nothing new, but this was to a whole new level).

so.....i couldn't really afford to live in logan.

and then i started missing my cute fam, and realized i never really saw them. i thought, you know, this is kind of a waste of time to be staying in logan for a boy that i'm not even going to marry. sure, i "love" logan, but sometimes it's okay to realize i can love other places, too.


logan was super fun. obviously, i had a complete and utter blast. i pretty much wanted to marry the land of logan. however, i realized it can be okay to admit that although i LOVED it, i was ready to move on a little bit.


this is where the story gets hard to put into words. each time i tell the story (which has been a lot, lately), i just kind of make a bunch of stuff up. "uh....and then....so...really....i mean.....yeah." that's how it actually really sounds.


but, faithful-followers-that-i-probably-lost-during-that-blogging-break-forgive-me, i owe it to you to explain myself. ready, go.

okay....so i feel like i loved it in logan. my reply to anyone and everyone that asked me how i was liking school was, "ohhhhhhh my goodness gracious, i am having the time of my life. i love it more than anything in this world. i never want to come home! i'm just having the time of my life!"

this was true.

shortened version of the story: i had a blast, but i'm moving on and focusing my life in another direction.


i'm moving to the land of milk and honey.


(that means provo, you guys).




wait....what....jasmine just said she's moving to provo? go re-read that, make sure you got that right.






yes. yes, you did.




um, yeah. who would have guessed? ten points for you, if you are raising your hand. you go, glen coco.


i didn't think i'd ever say it. i didn't think i'd actually be doing it! but i am.
i go off of my internal feelings a lot in life. if you ask my mom, you'd know that i literally just go with my own wind. but, my own wind always takes me where i need to go. (my own wind isn't necessarily MY own wind. i think it's a greater wind). besides the point, i listen. if you know my utah state story, you would remember that i never even actually visited logan before applying, getting my apartment, and having the feeling that it is where i needed to be. let me tell ya, it was. it was the place i needed to be. in MANY more ways than none. 


but there has been this rather annoying tugging at my emotions to go to provo. i've pushed it aside for months, because "i'm having the time of my life in logan." but i finally caved and listened. so, here i go.




i'm living in liberty square with my two great friends, laurel and christina. christina is my dear friend from USU! she is going to BYU, and laurel and i are going to UVU. i'm doing the whole wannabe BYU student route. cue the gagging of audience members.




however, i have this feeling that it's where i'm supposed to be. and really, that's why the story is so hard to tell. because people don't always understand feelings. but i think they are the most powerful things in this world.






so, i'm listening to it. and here i go.


xo