reflections

i got a letter in the mail.
it was addressed to me...in handwriting that looked strangely like my own.
from florida?
i don't know anyone in florida....that i can think of?

so i opened it.
it was from ME.
from me in 2007.
and then i remembered....i had a young women's leader (that i adored)
who had us write letters to our "future selves"
that she would send back to us in a few years.
i didn't think she would!
it was still sealed from that day in september when i addressed an envelope to my own self/house.

it could not have come at a better time.
i cried the whole time i read it.
it's absolutely amazing what happens in five years time.
it's amazing how many experiences we go through.
it's amazing how much we learn.
it's also amazing how much we stay the same!
i mean....my past self knew exactly what to say to my future self.
i still have the same hopes/dreams/etc..that i did five years ago (although they have been slightly moderated or altered, they are still the same).

i thought i'd put a few sentences in here that really stood out to me/half of my letter haha

"why hello there. hope all is well and life is going well in general. i can't even imagine what i'm like right now, because i can hardly even picture what's going to happen next month! i guess it just makes me realize that everything that seems like a big deal to me now, really isn't.  life goes by too fast to stress over stupid things. obviously, if i'm reading this, i got through the stupid drama that goes on in middle school.  i probably even forgot everything that's going on in my life right now. it's not that exciting.  anywya, i hope i'm a good person, and living with no regrets.  i hope i'm getting good grades and thinking about good colleges to go to.  right now i want to go out of state to maybe ucla or usc.  anywhere to get away from annoying parents.  just please don't go to byu! i hate byu! i hope that high school is fun and exciting.  oh yeah, i really hope you have an adorable car. hopefully i'm on cheer, accadians, or dance company. let's hope.

i hope that i'm good friends with my family.  i hope sabrina and i are getting along.  i really hope nothing tragic   has happened to me or anyone in my family.  like getting a life-threatening illness or someone dying.  nothing like that has happened yet...but you know, bad things can happen in an instant.

i hope you are still loving life and living up to everything you have the potential to be."

there is a lot more, but isn't that amazing?!

i mean, there will always be drama/annoyances in life...but give it five years, and you really do forget about it! i have no idea what was going on in my life when i was writing this. i had no idea that although i hoped and wished nothing tragic would happen,...that i'd lose a cousin to cancer, that my grandparents would pass away, that my mom would be diagnosed with cancer. i had no idea how much those events would shape me as a person. i had no idea that they would be turning points in my life. i had no idea that i'd be a cheerleader, that my car would be adorable, but not the kind of adorable i had envisioned.  i had no idea what kind of person i would be. i had no idea who i would meet, date, become best friends with, cry over, etc.  i had no idea how happy i would be with life. i had no idea that sabrina and i would become best friends. i had no idea where i'd end up at school. i just had no idea, period.


that's how it is now. that's how it will always be. i still have no idea who i'll meet, who i'll date, who i'll marry, where i'll live, what my job will be, what cars i'll drive, what challenges i'll face. i have no idea. what i do know is that life works itself out in a brilliantly wonderful way. it always will. i do know that although i'll change, i'll always stay the same....really. i know that in five years from now, i'll look back and won't remember exactly what was going on in my life at this second. but i'll think to myself, "wow, a lot has happened."  and i'll smile and cry, just like i did today.



yours truly,
jasmine xo