the most beautiful gift

cali for christmas

well, folks.

i'm off to california today.

technically, i'm off to vegas today.

but nonetheless my little family is off for vacation.

if we ever get out the door.

i'm currently sitting on my floor with my hair wet, and procrastinating packing.

at first, i wasn't THAT excited for this trip, 

because it's a super long drive.

but now i seriously can't even wait.

i get to see my cute cousins that live in southern california

and this will probably be the last time i see them before i leave for my mission.

they already have so many fun things planned out for us when we get there! 

like going on a boat parade all around newport harbor.

i didn't even know there was such a thing?

but there is,

from what i understand,

you sit in a boat and ride all through the harbor looking at all these christmas things?

so that will be so fun.

and then mid-way through the week we are heading to san louis abisbo

because bradley has a basketball tournament there.

i've never been, but i've heard it's beautiful.

i think we're even staying in a semi-decent place?

we booked a hotel motel in st. george once

that really was the pits.

i was scarred for a good while.

so,

everything is set (except my suitcase)

and i'm ready to be there!

merry christmas, everyone!

yours truly,

jasmine

oh hey

today i worked

all day long.

and it was lovely, actually.

i just really enjoyed myself.

and i rocked a baby to sleep

and as i looked at my reflection in the window

i couldn't help but imagine myself as a mom.

and i just got really excited

and then i snapped myself out of it, because it was bugging me.

my phone is gone-zo.

lost on wasatch blvd.

in the snow banks.

or chopped up by the snow plow somewhere fifty miles from here.

who knows.

what i do know, is that it's gone, and i'm having serious withdrawls.

i can't scroll through instagram?

i can't text/call people?

and what about all my random notes that i leave to myself in my memos?

like i was reaching for my phone the other minute to look up a song that i heard

and saved to the recordings on my phone

because i knew i would forget the name/lyrics!

and i did!

but now i'll never know what song it was that i was in love with.

bum-mer.

annnnnnnd my sister and i shamefully walked around the mall tonight in grungy's.

like i seriously wore one of my obesity sweatshirts and my hair was half falling out.

annnd my makeup was shameful.

and i was so tired that my eyes were bloodshot, but i had no idea until i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

but when i walked in the door afterwards, my mom was like

wow looks like you popped some serious blood vessels.

um, no. i'm just exhausted.

oh, and frozen yogurt is ten times better when your mom pays for it, and doesn't even know she did.

you know, like that's really christmas spirit. giving without even realizing!

oh, and one more thing.

i had to get some passport-type photos for my ukrainian visa application.

they needed 8 of them.

so i was like, oh i'll just get that done at walgreens.

so i did,

and i went to pick them up tonight.

$58.98

whhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

like, that isn't a joke.

silence

on this day of incredible tragedy

"peace i leave with you, my peace i give unto you;

not as the world giveth, give I unto you.."

-john 14:27

i have shed many tears today.

i have felt the sadness and sorrow.

i have been confused.

tonight at the mormon tabernacle choir performance,

we held a moment of silence 

and i could feel the entire congregation silently praying for the families in connecticut.

i don't have answers, but i know that He gives me the peace i need 

in the midst of so much heartache.

prayers to all affected.

prayers to this nation.

many, many prayers tonight.

yours truly,

jasmine

big happenings

i'm currently obsessed with every song i'm listening to 

at the moment.

like....music just really does it for me.

lyrics just really do it for me.

words just really do it for me.

...

today was my first day at the alta ski resort day care.

i woke up early to get on the bus,

because.... you know my car is out of business.

so i wait out in the dark this morning.

the bus comes, and i had a ten dollar bill to pay my $4.00 fare.

so i give it to the bus driver, who motions to the machine.

he's like "just put it in that machine."

so i do.

and i awkwardly stand there while the skiers bumped shoulders with me.

the bus driver asks me what i'm doing

and i'm like....waiting for my change?

he informs me that i won't be getting any.

because apparently you need exact change for the bus.

so it was ten dollars for me to ride up the canyon.

for ten bucks i think i should have gotten to sit wherever the heck i wanted,

but i got to stand next to the bus driver

because the bus was already full.

so i got to practically fall into his lap the whole way up the canyon,

and it smelled like damp socks?

i miss fido.

that's all i want for christmas....

my little, trusty car.

you know when you're a kid and you know that if you only ask for one thing, you'll get it?

but you still know you'll get other gifts, too?

i told my parents i don't even want anything else.

i don't need anything else!

i just need my fido baby.

tonight i babysat my cutie cousins

nicholas, sophie, and ella.

i gave the girlies baths

and we played "salon" for a couple hours as i dried their hair

and "pampered" them.

we all watched a christmas movie.

that turned out NOT to be a christmas movie

(thanks a lot strawberry shortcake....the info box said something about gingerbread? i figured that would FOR SURE be christmas-y. how am i to know that every character in that show is named after a dessert)?

but it's fine because i let them have cookies.

yes, multiple cookies for each child.

because......it's almost christmas, which makes it okay?

and i got to listen to ella all night randomly tell me how much she hates santa.

she's two...(or is she three, shoot)!...and apparently santa came to her little day care yesterday while my aunt was at the gym.

.... he caught her really off-guard,

and now i'm certain that she's scarred for life.

me: what are you asking santa for this christmas?

ella: i don't like santa.

well, that's too darn bad, isn't it?!

yours truly,

jasmine

the race.

words

choking under

 thoughts 

racing faster than i can chase

slow down, just slow down

my apologies

i'm still trying to catch my breath

the uvu thermometer thinks it's 82 degrees outside? i say, no!

i really am just baffled over the fact that some people think it's appropriate to be wearing shorts in 30 degree weather?

like....no....it's not okay!

i've seen people in shorts, a girl in a mini-skirt (yes....it was bad), and people riding bikes with no gloves?

i can see my breath when i'm SITTING IN MY CAR

let alone standing in the freezing air.

just put on some pants.

put on some gloves.

speaking of...

yesterday i went to cafe rio with christina and laurel,

because i just wanted to.

i was wearing my very favorite mittens 

(they are not only cute, but warm...because they're lined in the inside, you know)?

oh, i love these mittens.

i ordered my chicken salad, after asking the lady if she would choose pork or chicken on this particular monday.

she said, "chicken," and i said, "chicken it is."

i paid in cash, because i don't have anything in my checking account.
(thanks Gold's freaking Gym for taking all the money i was proud to own. it's a good thing i work out so often, that money is being put to good use....)

i should have just gotten the tostada, but that tortilla on the bottom makes all the difference, and i'd hate to neglect the tortilla! besides, no one even likes corn tortillas, do they? i mean, they get so soggy and taste just like paper?

anyways.

when i left, i realized i lost my mitten! 

the right hand one! which is the good one!

so i went back.

and searched forever.

looking under tables,

by the soda fountain,

by the bowl of mints,

and i even asked the employees if they had seen it.

it was nowhere.

so i was really sad and couldn't get myself to pull away in my car
 (that i really shouldn't have been driving, because did i mention a tree fell on it? well, it did. and because of that, my windshield is shattered and my side-view mirrors fell off. but cafe rio was calling for me)!

so i made christina go look for it,

because you know how sometimes when you're doing a word search, and can't find a word,

and then someone glances over your shoulder and just points to the word you've been trying to find for the past hour? yes, that's why i don't do word-searches.

well, i was hoping that would be the case with this situation.

she came outside holding my mitten

and i cried.

that's how much i care.

so you could say that was a good time.

(side-note: i trusted those employees when they told me they HAD NOT SEEN MY MITTEN. so, people of cafe rio......why did you have it sitting at the register? yeah, that's what i thought)!

and then today i had a history final.

it wasn't supposed to be comprehensive,

but then it WAS ALL COMPREHENSIVE.

so i just played russian roulette and hoped for the best.

it was a fun guessing game.

then i sold that history book back SO FAST.

they gave me $9.50 for it, plus they had a bowl of free mini candy bars.

so i took one a few

and then put some in my purse for the road.

i mean,

finals week is so stressful sometimes.

ha.

who am i kidding.

my life is wonderful and i wouldn't trade it for anything.

my thoughts

refrain from judging,

be more open to loving.

don't you think?

xo

jasmine

do good. be good.

i just can't get over how beautiful and wonderful this life is.

how people are truly good.

i am amazed at the amount of love people have in their hearts.

i know that each person i come in contact with has so much to offer me.

whether it's a smile exchanged, or a heartfelt conversation.

i can learn so much from those that surround me.

i truly believe that every person wants to be and do good. 

everyone has different weaknesses, but we all have strengths. 

we all have something that we can learn from others...

and we all have something we can teach.

i hope i can always remember to use the goodness that's instilled within me.