welcome back

well, guess what??!

I'M BACKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

i mean, i haven't blogged in a good two months. and to be honest, i started missing it.

i thought i would write in my journal more if i stopped, but i didn't. 

so

here i am.

and i couldn't be happier.

i think a lot has been happening in my life lately.

i needed to get a grip on everything.

i think life is one big learning experience.

it's a beautiful thing.

i've been reflecting a lot on LIFE lately.

i think for a little while i didn't feel exactly like myself.

which sounds strange, i know.

but i just wasn't.

looking back,

i wasn't the most ME i could be.

that sounds confusing, but let me elaborate.

i'm so used to living with myself.

i'm so used to my personality.

i'm so used to my humor.

i'm used to my thoughts.

because i've been living with myself for almost 19 years.

but this last little bit,

i think i've been a little bit different.

not to anyone else,

but to ME i have been.

my thoughts were a little different,

my personality was a little different,

my moods were a little different.

i was busy dating a guy that i think i was dating for all the wrong reasons.

i needed to let him go.

and that was hard.

it was hard to realize and understand that.

i was living in an environment i wasn't used to living in,

where people do different things than i would do.

that was hard.

it's hard to be in a place that you don't feel comfortable being.

and i think i got used to feeling uncomfortable.

which, in turn, made me feel different.

and then, all of a sudden, i realized that i was ME

....i was still the funny, loud, crazy ME

but not fully.

i realized i was holding myself back in more ways than none.

and now i feel wonderful.

i'm back to the me-est me i could be.

life is wonderful.

i honestly don't know how i am living this life that i love.

it's summertime here in logan.

today was 80 degree weather!

the pool here at oakridge is officially open!!!!!

you can bet your bottom dollar that we were laying out and enjoying the pool all day 

today.

i had the biggest smile on my face.

i love it here.

i'm so excited for summer.

i'm going to be living here for the summer through the school year.

i feel so excited and lucky to be here.

it's strange to think that when i moved out last year,

i MOVED OUT.

like....i'm living here.

for reals.

i can't wait to move in to apt. 10 E with brynne and aubree.

 i can't wait to ride my bike every day.

i can't wait to drive to bear lake to go swimming.

i can't wait to stay out having bonfires in the canyon.

i love it here.

i love everything about it.

i feel lucky to have such wonderful friends.

i feel lucky to have my wonderful family.

i feel lucky to have a swimming pool in my backyard (shared with hundreds of other people MY AGE).

i feel lucky to have a job.

i'm a lucky girl.

i also have to take the time to acknowledge that i KNOW people come into your life for a reason.

things happen for a reason.

i feel so lucky that i met brynne back in august.

who would have guessed she'd become my closest friend.

it's unreal to think about how alike we are.

we have the exact same thoughts.

she understands me perfectly.

and we're freaking hilarious together.

all the time.

cheers to life.

cheers to a GREAT life.