night terrors

well

here it is.

4:26 am and i'm still wide awake.

i have issues.

i'm having nightmares and i'm not even asleep.

i have been tossing and turning in my bed

having real-life nightmares

of things that haven't even happened.

i don't know what's gotten into my head as i'm trying to sleep tonight!

does that ever happen to you?

do you ever have traumatic thoughts in your head late at night that you just

can't shake out?

my brain runs absolutely WILD at night.
i think of things i never even think about in the day.
i think about things that i didn't even know were on my mind at all.
thoughts i never addressed or noticed just show up
uninvited.

these are my scary images that popped into my head within the last three hours:

-getting an epidural when i have a baby

(i can't even get my finger poked without throwing a fit and sobbing)

-never getting married.

(the image that flashed was of me living in my parent's basement eating frozen "steamers" dinners)

this is not a joke, you guys.

nightmares always seem funny when you're explaining them, but they're just not.

especially the ones that occur while you're freaking AWAKE

-being scared out of my socks for this internship.

i didn't really have an image flash for this one. i just started feeling nauseous. 

by this time, i have had enough.

i went downstairs to turn on the tv

and have happy thoughts.

of course my sister,

little bean,

was up too. 

so we talked and watched 

"good luck charlie."

now i'm happy again,

but i can't manage to fall asleep.

i'm jealous of the rest of the world at the moment

peacefully dreaming.

i'll just be here on pinterest.

xo